Feeling guilty after death of cat

[Catherinemc]

My cat died 2 days ago and I’m consumed with guilt. I spent the previous 10 days staying a friends house to mind her dog while she was on holiday. Before I left I noticed that my cat digit was weeing in the house in strange places. I left cat litter out for him before I left for my friends house and decided to take him to the vets for a check up when I got back (I live with my dad so he was taking care of him and my 2 other cats). My brother took me home from my friends and said that he saw digit struggling to wee in the litter box so I said I’d take him the vets once we got in. I arrived home and noticed him curled up asleep on the bed - when I got nearer and he didn’t move I realised he had died (and it must have been in the past 24 hours as my brother had seen him the day before) After doing some googling the only conclusion I can come to is that he had a urinary blockage and only now do I realise how serious this is. I feel so so guilty for not taking him to the vets before I went to stay at my friends. I feel like I failed him so bad. If I’d just been more cautious and aware I could have prevented it. But I thought I had more time. I hate the thought of him being in pain and me not being there to help him. The only thing that is giving me some solace is that I’m hoping he went in his sleep because of the way I found him. I just don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling guilty about this and I don’t know what to do to get past it.

[LBJ123]

I am going thru something similar. My cat died this morning, and looking back he was off his food and had gained weight - I thought one of the neighbors was feeding him, but I should have taken him in. I hope like you that he died in his sleep based on where I found him. 

Our cats had rich happy lives and the love of their owner. I would focus on that and be gentle with yourself. Your cat forgives you. Please forgive yourself. Sending you a hug and condolences.

 

[kayc]

@LBJ123  I'm so sorry for your loss, that is so fresh.  I lost my Miss Mocha 3 1/2 years ago, never found her (we're thinking cougar), and my Arlie 10 1/2 weeks ago (cancer), it's very hard to adjust to being without them here.  We were a family.

Sending you thoughts of comfort and peace.

[kayc]

@Catherinemc  I am so sorry for your loss.  At the time we don't always see things or realize them for what they are, the vet didn't catch my dog's cancer until it was too late, all I could do was provide him comfort care and have him euthanized when his suffering was worse, he deserved so much more.  We are human though and haven't had the medical training to recognize things and sometimes even they don't catch it, I know my dog had just had a physical and they hadn't noticed anything wrong.

It helps to honor them...I still talk to my Arlie, and have a memorial stone where he is buried in the back yard.  I painted rocks for his grave but had to move them because the sealant wasn't working, so I put them in his doghouse.  One has our truck with him in the back end going for a ride.  He had a good life with me but I, like you, wish it was longer.

Guilt is a normal part of grief.  We feel what we feel and it takes time to work through it.  I hope these articles help.

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
https://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

This is for our pets that have died:

 

 

[Athos]

You did the best you could with the knowledge you had.

No reason to feel guilty