My Forever Everything, Beck <3

[Novi]

I adopted him from the animal shelter on March 20th, 2003.
It was love at first sight. He was my constant companion and the love of my life. He was by my side for so many things, the biggest being my mother's illness and subsequent death. 

When Beck's health began to deteriorate in November of 2018, we made numerous visits to the vet. I spent a lot of money trying to make him feel better, get better. I was willing to spend what it took because this wasn't about money. It was about helping my little love. The entire time I felt that I was grieving for my mom too. It seemed that I was going through the same motions over again as a caregiver to a sick loved one. It was very draining both physically and mentally. 

Then January came around. This month has always been very difficult for me since I lost my dad to suicide in 1998.
It seemed that Beck's health plateaued, almost as though he knew I needed him still... on February 1st I came home from work and overnight his health had completely deteriorated. I spent the day with him, comforting him as he slept. He would wake up periodically and cry until he heard my voice. "I'm here baby, and I'm not going anywhere." He would then dose off again, and this went on all day. Later I snuck away as he seemed to be sleeping profoundly, and made a quick visit to the vet's for a stronger pain med. Then I came back home and made a phone call to a business called Vets To Go. Even though I didn't want to, and I could barely dial the number through my tears, I booked an at home euthanasia for Beck. Car rides had begun to stress him out to the point of getting physically sick since everytime he got in a car, it was tests and needles.. I wanted him to be stress free and at home in my arms when he took his final breath. 

I feel that he knew I was ready to let him know because he died not even four hours after I made that call. And he died in my arms, I will be forever grateful for that.

Beck graced my life for a little shy of 16 years, leaving me on February 2nd, 2019. He's a little thief that took a piece of my heart with him, but I plan to fill that hole with the many wonderful memories he left me. 

Thanks for reading, 

~Novi

[kayc]

I'm so sorry for your loss, 16 years is a long time and then to lose him, that's hard.  I just lost my soulmate in a dog, four months ago today (cancer), it's very hard to get used to being without him, he was my life entirely and everything was a reminder.  Even while your heart is breaking I hope you will keep in mind that the pain will subside a bit, it takes a long time to get there and it's hard going through it, but try to take one day at a time and do what you can to memorialize him.  I'm glad you were able to be with him when he passed, both for your sake and his.