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Dealing With Murder/suicide

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My counselor told me to find helpful information online about what happened to me ten years ago . I haven't seen a counselor in 8 years but recently found myself needing guidance and answers. Ten years ago my dad murdered my mom and stepdad and then commited suicide. I was the only one home at the time and had the horrific task of discovering the bodies. It has been ten years and I sit here shaking as I am writing this. I have not found anyone that has gone through something similar. It would be nice to know how someone else went through a similar experience. I have done fine for myself. I am about to graduate with a master's degree. After the initial shock wore off, I put on my strong face and went on with my life. I think I grew up too quick because I didn't take time to grieve. I was only 15 at the time of the murders. I have not been able to forgive my dad. That is another step I wish I could take. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.


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I am so sorry for your losses and the circumstances surrounding them. I honestly don't know how you deal and cope with something so horiffic. I think you are right in believing you didn't grieve fully when it happened. I think age has a lot to do with how we grieve, and at that age, I don't think you would even know how to grieve properly. And I can't say that I blame you for not forgiving your father, I don't think I could either. I know it's suppose to help you to forgive, but it's a tall, tall order in a case like that. There is another poster who just lost her mother because her father poisoned her. I hope she sees your post and responds. I really have no advice except that you have taken the first step and I think that means you are ready to really face everything and work out your feelings. And to properly grieve, so you can heal. Hang in there. What a strong person you must be to have gotten this far and done so good in life. I think you are a very special person.

Hugs to you, Shell

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