My life changed forever!!

[Nix]

In 2002 my baby daughter was born sleeping, Shannon died in labour due to hospital negligence, our World was torn about, we decided we needed a direction so we started making plans for our wedding to keep us busy we was heartbroken, plans were made for the big day may 2003 and 3 months after we found out we was pregnant again,nervous but very happy we had the baby and wedding to look forward to in the mist of our grief of our beautiful Shannon.. We married 1st week in May I was 5 months pregnant, day before the wedding my partner said he didn't feel right, bit later he purked up, we had a lovely wedding lots of family and friends, had packed for a road trip honeymoon the next morning, woke up, my husband could not move an very pale, for the next 2wks up and down to hospital, loads of tests couldn't find anything. My husband died the 3rd wk of our marriage, my world had fallen apart, I had baby in my belly and was due  in September, our son is 16 an his gorgeous and looks very much like his daddy. I'm sorry this post is long, even as I type this I still can't believe this happened to us, I will be forever heartbroken xx

[kayc]

Nix,

Reading your story takes my breath away, I can't imagine so much, so young.  Here it is all these years later, you're still greatly impacted.  My husband and I were married 3 years 8 months when he died five days after his 51st birthday, unexpected, shocking, I thought THAT was young.  It's been 15 years come Father's Day.  We adjust as much as we can, but a huge part of it is just ours to live with.  Family all still has their spouses, they don't have a clue what this is like.  To have the love of your life, finally and completely, and then have them ripped away from you...it's something we live with every day.  Alone every evening, waking up alone every morning...making decisions alone...it's continual.

I'm glad you have your son.  It had to be hard single parenting all those years.  I'm sorry you didn't even get to enjoy your honeymoon.  I know this is something that is forever impacting.  I had someone make the comment to me a few years ago about why was I still here (on this forum), they didn't understand we adjust to a point, the rest we live with, it doesn't go away, we don't "get over it."  I've done what I could to help myself, I want to be here for others going through it, even as there were others here for me when I first went through it.  It's hard to wrap your head around, how they can be so vibrant with life and then just...gone.  I believe we'll be together again, if not for that belief, I don't know how I could handle it.

I am so sorry for your losses.