I Lost My Brother

[CHENZOBRAT]

hI I LOST MY BROTHER 5 MONTHS AGO JANUARY 1ST 2006 IT WAS THE LAST NEW YEAR I WILL EVER CELEBRATE, IT WILL NOW BE A DAY TO MISS HIM. HE DIED IN HIS SLEEP A ACIDENTAL OVER DOSE OF DRUG AT AGE 40 AND LIVING LIFE HAPPY A MAN WHO HAD EVERY THING A MAN CAN ASK FOR. HE WAS MY HERO AND MY OLDER BROTHER AND A FATHER FIGURE TO MY SON . ITS BEEN SO HARD TO GO THRU LIFE EVERY DAY I FEEL LIKE I AM NAKED AND EVERY ONE AROUND ME SEE RIGHT THRU ME. AND HOW CAN A THE LOSE OF A BROTHER DEATH MAKE ME FEEL VULNERBLE AND INSECURE AND AFRAID? HAS ANY ONE FELT THIS WAY AND I FEEL THE PAIN WILL NEVER GO AWAY. I SAY EVERYDAY IF I COULD HAVE ONE MORE DAY WITH MY BRO I WOULD HUG HIM AND NEVER LET GO.I AM AFAID MY DAY WILL COME TO SOON AND I AM NOT READY I HAVE A 7 YEAR OLD BOY HE NEEDS ME. ANDA OLDER SISTER I NEED HER SHE IS MY ROCK AND MY HEALING HEART SHE IS GOING THRU ALL MY PAIN WE ARE TOGETHER WE SSAY WE ARE BROKEN BECAUSE OUR MISSING LINK IS GONE . MY FAMILY HAS FALLEN APART AND I CAN NOT EVEN FIX THIS. WELL IF ANY ONE OUT THEIR CAN GIVEME INSIGHT TO ALL THIS HURT I WOULD GRATFUL TO YOU. I JUST NEED TO KNOW I AM GOING THRU THIS OKAY . I NEVER CRIED SO MUCH IN MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR READING GOOD BLESS.

[amy 2]

If there is one thing that I could have done differently 3 years ago, it would have been to talk to my younger brother more. I have two younger brothers, one in heaven and one here with me. I gave him space b/c I thought that was what he needed. He was 19 when our youngest brother died. I think that you are a very good mother to talk to your children openly about the loss you have experienced and that they have experienced. If you are able to do this, that is a huge step. It is also a huge step to be "able" to cry. I couldn't cry after the first month, but my Mom did. At the time, I thought that she was not handling it well, but I was wrong. She was brave enough to feel the pain and grieve so that she could become stronger for us. In short, yes, I think that you are doing very well and are a beautiful person to be concerned for the other people in your life and to be striving to do better yourself.

[dunks]

Oftentimes, our grief becomes more acute 5-6 months after the death and we feel like this horrible pain will never go away. Trust that by allowing yourself to feel the emotions and talk about your grief, you are helping yourself work through it. Remember that each of your family members is grieving also in their own way which may be different from yours. Some people can express emotions outwardly, some not so much. Impatience and irritability are common symptoms of grief and often affects family communication and relationships. Acknowledging one another's pain and communicating your needs (quiet space, hug, etc) helps. Using this website will help too. The emotions of grief are like riding a wave; some waves are more powerful than others and you may feel like you're getting a beating as you ride them out. Eventually you will get to the stable shore again.