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[Novi]

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[Novi]

Every year I want to talk about this and everytime I end up feeling stupid for doing so. I just have no one to talk to about it. I wish this forum was more active, no one here seems to share any of the same losses I do, or if they do they just leave after a day or two of posting. 

[kayc]

I know.  I'm here, I didn't see this as it's at the bottom way below the other sections.  I'm sorry.  I always am here early am and read the posts, I apologize I missed this one.

[Novi]

On 2/2/2023 at 3:25 AM, kayc said:

I know.  I'm here, I didn't see this as it's at the bottom way below the other sections.  I'm sorry.  I always am here early am and read the posts, I apologize I missed this one.

It's not your fault or your responsibility. After a quarter century I should be okay but I just never dealt with it I guess. I just have no one to discuss it with. I don't have a lot of people in my life (No spouse, no kids, no parents, very few friends) and I work nights so I'm always alone. There was a thread here, I think it's gone now, that was titled something like "being alone sucks" and I clicked on it hoping to participate but finding out I didn't fit there at all. It upset me, and January is a bad month. I can't blame this site for my own psychological issues. I need to speak to a counselor but I just can't afford one. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and fix things. I'm sure we all feel that way. I'm just glad I survived another January.

[kayc]

Sometimes counselors base on income, might consider it, she paid $25/month for weekly sessions, through CAFA.

Also can see if your insurance covers one and get an in network one through them.

Most of your posts have been about/to your animal, not reaching out for help, we can try to help if you voice it.  (((hugs)))

[Novi]

Hi @kaycsorry for not responding sooner, I got very sick last week. It was the sickest I've ever been in my life actually. I felt bad because for 2 days I could hardly take care of myself, never mind my pets. Nile missed a full day's worth of medication because of it. I was unable to even get out of bed. I'm on the mend now at least, and Nile is still doing fine. 

I'm pretty sure my work covers psychiatry/psychology. Because I don't have a family doctor (I haven't had one since 2020) it could be a struggle to find one now so I can get a referral. It might be easier to seek help over the phone. I'm ok now, I only really feel intense during the month of January. There's a lot of pent up anger and emotions that come out that month. The only family I have that I could talk to is impossible to talk to. I know I've mentioned my brother before. He has this unrealistic expectation of others - he seems to think people should deal with things exactly like he does because how he copes is obviously the correct way. It's so frustrating. 

[kayc]

Forget going, send your brother!