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I have lost my companion, friend, daughter and teacher

Joy S

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She came to me in feline form, I never considered her to be a *pet*, so I am placting this story here - mods, if this is not acceptable, please place where you think it needs to be.

I've dwelled a long time alone. Since arriving on this planet, placed in a room as an infant in isolation, but through the grace of God was gifted with a cat and a dog, Marshmallow and Ginger respectively who took very good care of me and did impart love. From this, all I could do was attach to animals, understand them better than I could ever understand humans and basically live, not unlike a feral child, in my own domain and world. I interacted, in school, with my family of origin, but as things would be had, I was born into a family of strife, parents on the verge of divorce, absent emotionally mother, absent physically father, the youngest child the difference between self and sibings 9 and 17 years. 

I look back at all of the trauma I've survived, the giving away and *disappearance* of my beloved first animal friends due to *moving*. The utter despair this brought me to as a 5 year old. The consequential finding a dog, at the behest of a child psychiatrist, that it be a positive thing, and through that my border collie Corky was granted. He saw me through very turbulent times till I was 19. He was brought from NY to Israel. He was my guardian and friend, loyal and wise. 

Then I married, briefly and had a child, and for my son I brought in a dog, with whom we traveled back to NY. Lady was a soft-hearted sweet mix. She too passed at the age of 11, from complications of diabetes that had gone undiagnosed for many years. She is buried in Woodstock.

Then, while in upstate, I found consecutively, Jesse, Jordan and ChiChi - the alpha cats, born in the Catskills and together we loved, played, learned and walked the woods. In 2003 I brought them all with me to Israel where we moved from place to place. It was in one of these places, Hebron, that I found my Matikune, a small fluff of a kitten who was found by some young boys and who I offered to care for, *till we found her a permanent home*. Well, that really never happened. She blossomed into a magnificent cat, sensitive and feisty, a perfect mix to my otther cats, with ChiChi setting the tone, Jordan keeping the peace and Jesse just being as loving as anyone could be. We were family and for the first time, I felt settled into a unit, and there was nothing on this planet I wouldn't do for them and vice versa. We knew each other's soul, and they were so readily open to help, understand and do, that they basically were like a troop. I'd walk in nature and they'd all be lined up in file, each one at their own pace - and I had nothing to worry about, being in fields and mountain tops. 

But one by one, each succumbed. Jesse passed at the age of 11, Jordan was 12, ChiChi was 20 and this March 31st, 2023, my Mati passed at the age of 18 and a half. I grieved them all. ChiChi I am still grieving we were that close - soulmates really. Not a day goes by and I don't think of her. And now my last, the baby has gone. It was very hard - these last 2 years. She was in decline, and I turned the world upside down and then some to find remedies for her. She was anemic, her kidneys, then her liver. She was becoming dehydrated and wouldn't eat. But oh, she was still comforting me. Ever so sensitive - exquisitively so. I'd massage her spine, she'd massage me. She understood.Everything. She had about 20 different names and knew them all. I am really beside myself these past weeks. I figure there has to be a new progression of the heart from here. Maybe a certain allowance of the human species into my realm. But I am still on the fence about this. I do know that Mati is safe. She is in heaven. She is with ChiChi, her surrogate mama and is basking in the love and light of the angels. God certainly did create her so magificently, the colors, her intelligence, her free spirit. She was, the complete package, born in a holy place, to boot. 

Well, I light memorial candles for her. I still cry. I do miss her terribly. But I understand the way of life's circle. If there was something more I could have done, I'd have done it. Now, we communicate through the heart. Her legacy and mine. Blessings to all those who have lost their friends and soulmates. May you be comforted. 

This was Mati

Picture 016.jpg

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I get it, I really do, and I am so sorry for your loss.  We call them pets but in reality they are so much more!!  I really hate the term myself but realize for forms, etc. they have no other way of identifying them.  

My Arlie was my Soulmate in a Dog and that's what I called him.  It's been 3 1/2 years he's been gone and he will forever be in my heart, my perfect dog.  Now I have another dog, Kodie, his name popped into my head when my son sent me his video and picture, I've never had that happen and lo and behold, that is what was on his tag when my son brought him to me.  He was conceived when Arlie died and born on my birthday.  Tell me Arlie didn't have a paw in it!  And he is now my registered service dog, he's always where I am, very in tuned with me and my comfort and incentive for living.  It does make you wonder...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers



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  • 1 year later...

I'm sorry for all your losses. Mati was beautiful. She looks a lot like my baby Nile. Super fluffy!

My cats are family. As Kayc said, pets is just a simple name that is deemed more acceptable. I had a soulcat too. His name was Beck. They all mean the world to me but Beck was just different. I know I'll never meet another like him. I can relate to your bond with Mati. 

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