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I found out I have gut issues now I learned I have anticipatory Grief of my grandmas and mom getting older.

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I thought it was just a bit of anxiety as I started getting anxiety in my car stuck at red lights.  Then I wasnt eating a lot.  Lost three pounds had a endo and coloscopy and was told I have gastritis but not really from what they dont tell you....  My counselor said you have grief .  Yes my grandma in NY is 80 and was near death in the beginning of the year.  She said she feels better but when talks I dont feel she is herself.  She has been through a lot of health issues. I went to NY last year to see her and my dad.   My grandma here in Nevada is 86 and getting older, sometimes I miss the younger days where me and her would browse around the store shopping together.  And my mom looks older and still has her health and mental issues and she lives in a different state.  She was a toxic mom when I was younger now she trys to be a better person and texting to her at times can be good.  But I also have to stay distant from her for my own health.   I tried to reach out to my church to see if they have a prayer warrior or a grief person where I can work on this.  I have taken two weeks off of work already.  But I know healing is available. And no I dont take any medicines.  Thanks for letting me share. 

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I am sorry you are going through this.  I too had a toxic mom, she had nearly every personality disorder there is, extreme paranoia, never got any treatment until she had stage IV Dementia.  So she was out of her mind, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, at least she went out softer than she lived.

I'm glad your mom is trying now.  I am so sorry about your grandma.  My heart goes out to you with all you are going through.

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