I Lost My Mum

[Natbun]

I lost my mum on the 11th August. She'd been in hospital because of side effects of her treatment she was having for bladder cancer. But everybody, including her, expected to get over it. She even asked me to clean the house ready for when she came home. I lived with her you see. Then they discovered a blockage in one of her intestines, tried to have a closer look, and her blood pressure went right down to a point they couldn't get it up again and she died. She was 82, but she didn't act like an average 82 year old. She was so full of life, and had such a young way of looking at life, if you know what I mean. And we were so close. She was my best friend as well as mum. The first few days after, as much as I can remember them, I used to look at older people and say to myself, why are you alive and mums dead. I lost weight, was quite ill for a couple of weeks. The unreality of it all. I do have brothers and sisters who are there for me as much as possible, but they didn't have the relationship with mum quite as I did, 'cos I lived with her. I'm coping a bit better now, though the unreality is still with me to a certain extent. Some days worse than others. Today's one of the worse days. I've been crying etc. I'm still living in the house we lived in together. For the time being anyway. It just seems so empty without her. I'm scared of Christmas. I can't let myself think about it yet. This is my first post, though I have been reading others posts for a while, which I find has helped me a little.

[BeeMay]

Hi, I too lost my mum this year ,same thing, it was sudden, but because of chronic illness, I guess it wasn't.

It's hard. I can't imagine living in mums house, though now some time has passed I would love to go up there and just look at some of the things ,like what we gave her for xmas as kids, photos stuff like that.

I too am dreading xmas, we have passed her birthday, which was hard but my family was supportive, and i got past this milestone.

I think we are jsut going to have crying days for a while. I think it's normal, I hope so LOL Hang in there, for mea tleast the crying days are getting less.

regards

Beemay

[shell]

Natbun,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I live with my mom, too, (we lost my dad last year). I have always been so close to my mom (best friends, like you said) and just can't imagine how I'll deal with it when she is gone someday, so I can totally feel your pain. Like Beemay said, you are going to cry for a long time, but it will get easier to cope with. Hang in there, and welcome to the site. Please keep posting and talking about how you feel...it really helps.

Hugs,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi Natbun,

I too lost my mom in April of 2005, We were on vacation in Las Vegas when it happened. My dad and I did not know she had diabetes and she died of complications of a diabetic coma... I also lost my dad in August of 2005 to Non Hodgkin's lymphoma which I never knew he had till his last days with us... I lived with both parents until the day they died and after they died I lived in the house for a month... I hope this helps Take care Shelley