Sinking

[gabrielle_land]

Tomorrow its going to be six months since Chris passed away. Just writing it brings thick tears to my eyes. Since mid Nov. until now Ive been having a big depression, I don't want to do anything, I stay most of the time inside my room by myself, I don't feel like seeing my friends any longer. I used to join the forum daily now I dont even do that anymore, I feel I have no words left. Ive heard comments like "stop living in the past".. How I wish I could live in the past, but it's not possible, yet I can't forget what gave meaning to my life once, I cant and don't want to. I have had family problems lately and that hasn't helped. I thought that by now I would feel any better but instead I feel Im sinking and the only one that could help me from breaking isn't with me anymore.. thanks for reading, just had to let this out...blessings to all of you

Gaby

[shell]

Gaby,

It is so hard to "move on". And I know exactly what you mean about wishing you could live in the past. But the past will always be with you, in your heart and in your head, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with thinking about it and dreaming about it.

At just six months everything you are feeling is normal, you don't need to worry that you aren't any better. You will be...eventually, when you are ready. As far as not wanting to be with friends, that's so normal too. It's just too much trouble, trying to keep up a brave front, so to speak. I can only take people in small doses. Then I want them to leave, or if I'm at their house, I want to run out screaming! It takes a loooooong time to come to terms with all your feelings, so take your time and don't worry.

Hugs to you,

Shell