My Sweet Tootsie Had To Be Put To Sleep

[tootsiesmawma]

I am having a terrible time dealing with this grief...all I can see when I lay down is my Tootsie suffering and begging for water...I had to stop giving her water, it was making her throw up everytime. She had stopped eating Sat. completely, but had been in the animal hospital for 5 days prior to that...the vet just sent her home because there was nothing else he could do for her..she had resistant diabetes. I was trying so hard to get her to eat...she would drink water for 5 minutes at a time...after a couple of days without eating she threw up everything. I can hear her whining, wanting to get out of my room and either go outside, or drink water...I was up with her all night..then I knew I couldn't stand seeing her suffer any longer. When will I ever get through this..seeing her suffer so much...she was the light of my life....I'm so lonesome without her. I can't eat...nothing tastes good.

[LittleGirl'sMommy]

Hi, I'm very sorry for your huge loss and for the excruciating pain. It's such a difficult decision to make---when to help a pet to pass on. Tootsie is fine now (not experiencing any pain or sadness--just pure bliss) and completely understands about the sufferering she endured during her last days in her physical body. I'm sure she wanted to stay in her body for as long as she could, so you could have her with you. She holds nothing against you. You tried everything you possibly could!! And she sure knows how much she was (and is) loved.

There is nothing like the sheer emptiness of life after losing a pet. Life seems foreign, like a nightmare that we're forced to keep having. It's heart-wrenching. The things that have helped me the most are knowing my Little Girl is experiencing only bliss, and the support I have gotten at 3 online grief-support groups as we help each other deal with this pain (the first few days I spent hours on these groups), and other support from certain others in my life who really really understand. Oh, and knowing that my Little Girl wants me to be able to go on. Her earthly life was over, but I'm stuck here for longer, and she understands that.

I am positive that Tootsie doesn't want you to stay paralyzed with grief. Remember that love is a 2-way street, and her love for you is great! If the roles had been reversed and you were the one who had passed, you wouldn't want sweet Tootsie's grief to be debilitating. You would want her to have as good of a life as she possibly could while her soul was still living in her physical body. ...And when it's your time, you'll be reunited forever!

You are a wonderful, very special Mom---it's obvious.

Write any time!

Much comfort and love,

Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

ekleigh@yahoo.com

p.s. Would it also help to write a letter to Tootsie, pouring out everything---any regrets you're feeling, the love you're feeling, etc.? I did that when I lost my cat Mariah in '98 following a horrible illness and it helped me to know that she understood how very much she had been loved, and how sorry I was for putting her through certain things, etc.