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Teny From Greece

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thank you all for being there and feel my pain .It hurts every day and I miss him every moment, I try to keep busy that realy helps I have a ceramics workshop and it is a creative work .WHEN the night coms and the weekend the pain gets stroger .Yiani was my first and only love .I was 18 and he 29 when we maried .He was so good looking like agreek god with blue eyes .WE were in love .We use to take long drives holding hands and talk alot .Every morning he would say to me good morning my joy of life . Im left with no life without him .

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Oh teny, I can feel how much you miss him. What a beautiful love you had together! I have such memories too. My George...when I would awaken on Saturday mornings, I'd open my eyes and he'd be hovered over me, looking at me with such love and a smile and he'd say, I love how the sunlight glistens on your eyes!" It was the love I saw in his eyes that I miss so much. I always felt like, when he held me, it was the best place in the world to be! I felt so loved and protected and cared for. It's hard to not miss that.

I can only tell you that it will get better with time. You will always miss him and it will never be the same, but you will get more used to life without him. I know it sounds like a horrible sentence right now but you will get more accustomed to your life as you now know it. The missing will never stop but the intensity will lessen somewhat. Just take a day at a time, or a moment if a day is too much to think about. Try to find joy in any little thing, a view, a friend stopping by, a baby's smile, a puppy's kiss, anything that can bring even a moment's joy. It takes a concerted effort and determination to go on.

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Reading your words about how Yiani greeted you each morning brought a wave of memories back to me. I recall watching Tanya as she slept and feeling overwhelming love--adoration, and I'm sure that's what Yiani was feeling when he spoke with you each morning. There's really nothing like seeing the love of your life wake from sleep and instantly smile on seeing your face, pucker up for a kiss, and immediately reach for hugs. It's especially hard to move from thinking about that enormous void of loss when someone like this dies, to thinking how lucky we've been. So few breathe the rarified air we shared so deep and true a love in.

Many of us have felt that all consuming pain of losing what feels like everything important in one moment. I think I'm less competent than most at recovery (I'm moving much, much, much slower than others I know) from the loss of my wife, but I think I am coming along. It's been over a year for me, and I'm still a little girl as far as my emotions go--crying every day for someone who didn't think anything could make them cry is quite a change. Please give yourself time, Teny--you already know how painful this is. In time, what you once thought impossible to recover from, will move from absolute pain to bittersweet memories, from there who knows? I'm hoping it will lead to pure sweet memories of rare love. We can hope, but in the meantime--we navigate one moment at a time.


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