The Pain That Never Heals

[MickeyW]

My love once sang to me a song

of life together, joyous, long

she sang to steel us to the dare

to hold to love, to always care,

not give in and never fear.

“You walk the world,” she told me true,

“Where you go, I will be with you.”

She brought me faith and I stood tall

I brought her strength, we couldn’t fall.

Our innocence allowed ideals,

our unity would make them real.

Against all reason and advise

set out together, made a life.

Made a life of love’s devotion,

faith in every scheme and notion

felt our future had to be

what we'd planned for faithfully.

Now, despite our hopes and dreams

I end with only memories.

Why did forever become so short?

Why did our future have to abort?

How did always come undone?

How did my sorrow replace such fun?

You left me our children, pale mirrors of us.

You left me alone, trusting too much.

You took the sun, the stars and seasons,

leaving me no rhymes or reasons.

I found your picture, aged seven or eight;

Walking with Mom through garden gate,

smiling, innocent, trusting and glad,

holding hands with adoring Dad.

Did you go to be with them again?

Have you finally stepped out of the rain?

Are you younger, happy and whole,

safe in the peace of the sheltering goal?

You left me a song which had no words.

I tunelessly sing like the mindless birds.

My life without any promise to pledge,

I sway confused on razor’s edge.

I cannot seem to pick up pieces

of this grief never ceases.

Now my life lies shattered in shreds

with nothing but heartache, denials and dreads.

I’m left with a song and no harmony,

life’s hollow, cold, silent, empty.

My life’s wondrous gleaming shining delight

was taken with you in the dead of the night.

My hopes unfilled my dreams have been broken,

the roads not traveled and vows unspoken.

Our future’s promise corroded to rust,

lost and lonely, lying in dust.

I lay in bed at night and toss,

sob secretly in silent loss,

keeping close my chronic sorrows

saving them against tomorrows’

hopeless joys, fear they reveal

perpetual pain that will never heal.

Michael