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How Do You Get Back To "normal"

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It's only less than two weeks since Mom passed away. I now have to deal with my father (though my parents were divorced) going through what seems to be serious health problems. Just released from hospital to nursing home with doctor's recommendation for Hospice. Enough said. Another funeral in the future but the doc can't give me idea of how much time we're talking - and it could go on long for all I know. I'd just finished emptying Dad's apt. before Mom died - and trying to get him onto Medicaid - now finding it's not done, and I'm still rushing for paperwork.

It's almost too much - but my reason for posting is how long before you get back to "normal"? Aside from getting the medical equipment out of the house, I can't do housework, and my house is in shambles. I will have to seek work in a few months - the caregiving is done, but the bills aren't. I'm so tired and, of course, just beginning the grieving process - got as far as the Thank You cards. How do you pick yourself up and do things? Housework, food shopping? I was a workaholic before. Now, I just want to sit or rest or mostly - talk to people - just talk to people. And I'm wearing my friends and family out - been told so, and it hurts, but I do understand.

What have you done in the early stages to get yourself moving again? How do you get past the exhaustion, if not the grief?

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Only Child,

My dad died in '05 and I had to start taking care of my mom right away. I lost her in June. I'm still exhausted! I try to get more sleep or take naps, but the emotional strain of grieving keeps me worn out. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. You need a break, but life just keeps piling it on! The only advice I can give you is to rest as much as you can, and just do whatever HAS to be done. Don't worry about what your house looks like, etc. There will be a day down the road when you can tackle stuff like that. I'm afraid all of this is totally exhausting and there isn't much you can do about it, except sleep as much as possible. Oh, and be sure and have a really good cry when you need to. That's exhausting too, but in a weird way it can be relaxing and take some of the pressure off your emotions. Good luck, take care of yourself.



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