Guest Barb Fowls Posted July 15, 2004 Report Share Posted July 15, 2004 My brother was diagnosed two months ago with stage 4 metastatic carsinoma. He lives 2000 miles away from me, but I was able to be there when he got the actual diagnosis. He is married and has two children - a 12 year old daughter and a 17 year old son.There are 6 siblings in my family and our parents are still alive. We live all over the country, but we have been taking turns going out to spend time with him. Next week is my turn and I am really wondering if I should even be going.During all of the turmoil, my grandmother passed away. I'm sure that is contributing to my emotional instability right now, but I have not been able to get control of my emotions since this whole ordeal began. I have been crying uncontrollably for over two months. I have talked to a psychologist who told me I'm grieving and its normal.That may be, but when I go out there, I'm supposed to be strong and supportive. I want to be able to talk openly and honestly with him and I want him to be able to talk to me about anything and everything. I'm afraid I won't be able to be strong, I'm afraid I'm going to make it worse for him and his family because they will see me constantly either crying or trying to control it.And when its time for me to come back home, how do I say goodbye to him, not knowing if its the last time I'll see him on this earth?? I can't stop thinking about him, what he's going through, what his family is going through and what this is doing to my parents and other brothers and sisters. I seem to be the only one who is having this much difficulty dealing with it all.It is affecting all aspects of my life - my own husband and children, my job, everything. I will never be the same. How can I accept the loss of my little brother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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