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Test Results

Elizabeth A.

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I have spent the past two days doing nothing, but staying busy. Here are the results. Negative. No FeLK here. Nada, not at all, not one trace. I have only healthy cats with healthy immune systems. I am glad that what I'd wanted to be a good deed (volunteering to foster those baby kittens), was just that. Sunny is going to be 4 this summer, Tiny is turning 3 in March and Kitty just turned 7. With the exception of Kitty who is an ASPCA rescue kitty (we didn't know she had been abused till we got her home, Tampa Jan. 2002 was not Animal Precinct!) who is beginning to show signs of age. I can know that I have time with my cats. I wrap that fact around myself like a blanket. No it doesn't promise or guarantee me anything, but I will take it.

I'm finding that so much bad has happened, and I have struggled so much that it's like I'm behind a veil. I can see the happiness on the other side, if I turn my head just right I can feel the happy warmth, but I'm not quite able to shed everything and be completely happy.

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Fabulous news, Elizabeth! :D

I think I know where you're coming from, regarding your last statement. I can even laugh my head off at certain things in certain moments, but nothing's really the same nor has the same 'intensity' as it did before, and that may never return, for all I know. It's also mind-numbing to both care and NOT care about whether it returns or not, all in the same breath. I have to content myself with being 'happy' in very short moments of time, and that's all.

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Oh Maylissa I'm sorry your happiness is so fleating. You are such a good person, with a wealth of knowledge at your fingertips.

I've been working on ripping away at the veil. It does actaully seem to be working (I'm not just saying that). I've been sick with the strangest flu bug I've ever had, and that seems to be helping to clear at the cobwebs so to speak.

My cats seem to want to remind me that they're sticking around, Sunny who is normal near me while I do things in the AM has been, INFRONT of EVERYTHING. Dear sweet boy, little does he know I've moved the brush so the next time he puts himself infront of me he'll be getting brushed, don't get me wrong, he likes it, in moderation. Not everday and not for hours, just long enough to make him smooth and shiny and then he's outa there.

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Oddly enough something crazy good has come out of it. My Sunny boy is a "kisser" yep, he loves to lick his favorite people. Now when he was a tiny kitten it was no big deal as he had the softest toungue every to come out of a cat's mouth. Now? Oh well now that he's grown up it's like being licked with really wet sand paper.

So a few days before the test I told myself that not only do I need to get used to it, I needed to enjoy it because when he's gone I will miss my Sunny kisses.

Over the past few weeks while we've been waiting to be out of the "exposed" window and into "live beyond" I have been VERY careful about Sunny's kisses and when he would kiss me, first I would let him, and then I wouldn't let any other the other cats near me till I could wash up.

Today when he was kissing me I was glad not to have to be so careful as well as to have him there, his days limited by fate rather than FeLK that I was happy for all that wet sand paper. Yep, I told you it was silly crazy.

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