Jennie Harrison Posted March 20, 2008 Report Share Posted March 20, 2008 Hallo everybody!First of all I would like to thank all people on this site, since this helped me alot through my griefing. I live in The Netherlands so it was really cool that just a simple website could help better then anything "live" here.Its been so hard lately... its almost like I am getting numb, don't feel anymore!The last 2 years (2006 + 2007 ) was probably the most horrible years in my 23 year old life. I lost so many people and I even almost died myself in a car accident which I am still suffering from.People around me are always trying to support, which I got really angry with before since they all have parents and perfect lives. But the good thing is that I am not angry anymore.... the only thing is the missing part. Sometimes I feel that EVERYTHING is happening to me, but I realized that.... that way of thinking is not gonna lead me anywhere....I feel that I have been taken a big step, I am accepting! It is how it is! It sucks! But the only thing you can actually do is to put one foot infront of the other. I am not angry anymore... It sounds very very stupid, but now I almost feel lucky somehow..., I will be there 100 % for my friends if it happens to them, I have grown... But I do still cry, I miss my dear father, wish he could see me growing up to a real adult, getting kids and bla bla but hey thats how it is. I am lucky, because I had a wonderfull father, not many people have that, and I still have the best mother in the world alive.This got very long, just needed to get it out!Thanks to you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Jennie,You are definitely healing. Not being angry anymore and accepting...huge steps! That's the point I'm at too. I have accepted that life is rough but we just have to "go on", especially for the people who care about us, depend on us and need us. I, too, have lost so many, many people in the past three years and I'm almost numb to bad things happening. I think you eventually do build up some kind of shell to protect yourself. I'm so sorry about your accident. Hope you get better.Don't apologize for the length of your post. That's what we're here for, to both get our emotions out and to listen to others problems. The fact that you say you have grown is another huge step. Hopefully, that is something we should all do at some point experiencing grief. Keep up the good work and give yourself a pat on the back. It takes hard work, deep soul-searching and strength to get to where you are. Good for you.Hugs,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBob Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 But the good thing is that I am not angry anymore.... I realized that way of thinking is not gonna lead me anywhere....I feel that I have been taken a big step, I am accepting! When it comes right down to it, acceptance is the secret to happiness in any situation, not just grieving. Some things are easier to accept than others, is all.It is how it is! It sucks! But the only thing you can actually do is to put one foot in front of the other. I am not angry anymore... It sounds very very stupid, but now I almost feel lucky somehow..., I will be there 100 % for my friends if it happens to them, I have grown..."This, too, shall pass" is a powerful reminder of the impermanence of life, whether we judge some aspect of it good OR bad. Putting one foot in front of the other works after a fashion because the cyclical nature of life is such that if you can hold on for a time, it gets better. A deeper truth, which you are just beginning to intuit, is that acceptance and non-resistance to "what is" actually puts you in a place of power. When you learn to conform to life rather than trying to get it to conform to you, then you are in a position not just to survive, but to transform your way of looking at things, and to transcend your suffering.You are indeed lucky, and it is not stupid to think so. It's unusually smart.Best,--Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted March 24, 2008 Report Share Posted March 24, 2008 I keep thinking of a quote I read, that I can't remember where, or who said it, as usual! Amyway, it said "Your power is your own". Sounds simple, but the more you think about it, the more meaning it has. I think all of us need to embrace this and by accepting, like Jennie is, we are taking the first step toward making our power our own.Hugs,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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