STARKISS Posted April 14, 2008 Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 Hi All,April 18th will be the third anniversary of my mom's death... I will go and do something my mom and I did together... This is how I will remember her on this day... The first two years I went to a park and let balloons go after reading a peom that she liked... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight Posted April 15, 2008 Report Share Posted April 15, 2008 That seems to be a nice way to remember your mom.My dad's birthday is coming up, and its going to be hard. I always had all the family get together and have a party.This year I am going to do the same, and on this day we will remember dad and the great life he gave us and the great life we had because of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2008 Hi Midnight,I think having a party is a nice way to remember someone.. If more of my family wanted to I would try something like that but they have seem to think that I should be over it all ready Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Hi All,I am having a little bit of a down day today just trying not to think of what will happen tomorrow... I miss her some much, there was so much more I wanted to share with her... My heart breaks just thinking that she has been out of my life for three years soon... I often think of her and sit in her old chair and just day dream of the times we did share... Tearfully Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi All,As the day comes to an end I get more and more upset about what tomorrow might bring... I just might stay home and try to deal... take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 ShelleyI know it may seem odd, but with prior losses I have had.. somehow the third yr was a bit of an unexpected challenge for me. So if you are hurting, I definitely can understand that.How about doing something nice for you tomorrow; kind of to pat yourself on the back for getting through these three years? Celebrate her life and yours in some small personal way that you are comfortable with. Doesn't have to be fancy... anything that helps you would be good.Tomorrow will come and the anticipation may very well be worse than the actual event. I have found that too. I "worried" about the actual anniversary day and then that day ended up being no where near as hard as other days had been. So maybe just take tomorrow as it comes, but if you can, try to squeeze in some special pampering of you.leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi All,Well the 18th is here and so far the morning has been okay but it is just starting.... Will post later on how the day goes...thanks Leanne for your post... It means alot to me... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi All,Here I am at work and as 5pm comes near here I sit wondering what the evening will bring... The evening is when I have nothing to do but think.... I am wearing a chain I got for my birthday from my mom and dad and on the chain are my mom's rings... but I am trying hard to think of something to do other than going home to an empty apartment.... shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2008 Hi Leanne and Midnight,Thank you both for your posts,the caring words, and the understanding... I did make it through the day and remembered many things about my mom... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted March 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 29, 2009 Hi All,Eventhough I am finding the weekends a little easier, I am not looking forward to the 18th coming this April as it will be my mom's fourth anniversary of her death... I really miss my mom and it got so bad that I had to get the scrapbook I made at my grief support group out and look at it so I could remember what she looked like... I miss her so very much and find it hard to do certain things like going to certain resturants and other places she used to go to... I think I need to tell my old boss why it was that I really quit my job I told her it was the distance from my new home but truthfully it was that I had so many memories of my dad helping with the daycare that I just could not keep working there... Even when I visit I find it hard and expect dad to come walking in... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2009 Hi All,I am gearing myself up to doing something for the death anniversary be it going to a favour resturant or letting balloons go, or really a favorite book or watching a favorite movie... I need to think of something that will help me remember her without pictures I can not remember her face I hate that part of it... You would think if you loved someone you would not forget what they looked like... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted April 20, 2009 Report Share Posted April 20, 2009 ((((((((((Shelley)))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2009 Hi Leeann,Thanks for being there for me when I really need someone... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Hi All,I need to get something off my chest, and this is the only place I can think of to do it... The item is that I totally forgot the death anniversary of my mom... What a horrible daughter I am to do this... FIrst I forget her picture and now the anniversary what will be next... I know this Saturday is the day of her funeral but it was last Saturday with the actual death... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Oh ((((((Shelley)))))))) Now you know you aren't a terrible daughter. That's simply not true and you know it. They know you love them and they surely don't need for you to remember them on anniversary days... Those kind of remembrances are more for us.... those that remain while we are trying to learn how to "do" life without them. And apparently...... you have done very well. They must be so pleased at how well you are doing.The fact that you forgot it... tells me simply that you have processed this loss very well. You have assumed it into your daily life and have moved on quite healthily. You think of your folks and miss them when you want & need to. You are ok enough with your feelings that you choose when & how to feel & express them. You don't need to remember in a different way on special anniversary days anymore. Nope.... Now, you must be comfortable feeling and expressing your loss on ANY day. And to me??? That's a good thing! So stop beating yourself up for doing so very well!leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2009 Hi Leeann,Thank you for trying to make me feel better but I still feel bad about not remembering the date... But I did remember today as being the day that was my mom's funeral day and how awful I have felt all day thinking this day four years ago I said my last good bye to my dear mother.. I did not do anything today but teach some children about scrapbooking because it was the hospice that I was dealing with at the this time that got me involved in scrapbooking a book of my dead loved ones.. Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted April 26, 2009 Report Share Posted April 26, 2009 Thank you for trying to make me feel better but I still feel bad about not remembering the dateWell I'm not trying to "make" you feel better Shelley. I can't make you feel anything. You choose how you feel.So if you want to still feel badly about it... you will. Or you can choose to see yourself as human and making some decent grief progress .. or not. Totally up to you.Anniversaries can be rough on us all. But choosing to teach some children.. well that's a good and positive thing in my book. Who knows?? What you did today could also ripple out in the future and help others as well. Since our folks are our primary teachers in life.... your activities today were also a great way to honor them.leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted May 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2009 Hi Leeann,As days go by, I am thinking of the ways that I have rembered her and eventhough I still find it hard I forgot the day things do start to look better again... I will never forget her birthday and I think of what she would do in different situations that come up in my life... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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