A Haven..

[lyn]

This is always the place I can run to whenever I feel so down. Today is no exception..almost one year..the tears never run dry. I was feeling good a while ago, but when I started to think about some plans for the future..the tears start again, so I have to stop thinking but the tears wont. I wonder if my life will always be like this..

I dont know what more to say, and I guess I find comfort in being here, knowing that you my friends are out there..listening. I find comfort knowing that you feel my pain and you do understand..for a while, I will close my eyes and let my tears flow again.

[jackietnd1]

Hi Lyn,

Wow, this really touched my heart. Tomorrow will be just 2 months my Lawrence went home. I cry all day almost everyday, have no energy to get anything done around this house. I have attempted to do the dishes this morning, which I am going to finish after I read this morning. I do go for a walk everyday, which I think helps.

I just don't know where I belong anymore, I have not worked as I was taking care of my husband for the last 8 months of his life. I am just not sure what I need to do to move on, should I get a job, I really need money so I think I just answered that question. I am so thankful my sister came to live with us just 2 months before Lawrence died. So she is here with me in this big house. Still I miss him so much, I dreamed about him last night and he was sick, so I awoke this morning happy that he is not suffering anymore because he was.

I am also happy that in his last days we really talked and he shared with me how much he will always love me and thanked me for being his wife, when I think of that last conversation I do cry however they are tears of joy. So I am not sure what I am saying just going on and on. I am just happy today that there is someplace I can come and read my own story daily, lets me know I am not alone or crazy(well my husband would always tell me I am crazy because all his friends are crazy and me being his best friend well lol)....I just remember alot of the things we talked about is this all apart of the process, reliving our lives together? Thanks for listening...

Love you All

Jackie