lyn

Please hang in there Heartbroken. I am very sorry for your loss. Indeed, it is a long and difficult journey. There are lots of compassionate and caring people on this site. They have made my journey much bearable. I seldom post now but my heart still breaks everytime I read a newcomer's post. I feel your pain because I have travelled that road too. We will be here for you. I will be praying for your peace and healing.

Thank you for all your replies. By the way Fred, I wish you luck on the dating websites. There are lots of scammers and players out there but at the same time there are also some good people there. You just have to learn how to weed them properly. Be patient and take your time finding that right girl...

Hi All, Me and my new love have talked about this. I feel that this is one site which I can find very objective and helpful advice without being judgmental. I wonder what are other's view on this? I will appreciate all your thoughts.

Hi Derek and Wendy, I wish you all the best. You are both very special person. Much love to both of you. Lyn

Welcome back William, Good to know that things are going well with you now..It's been a while...so many things have happened and we're glad to know that you're back with a good news. Congrats and God bless.

Wendy and Fred, ((((( HUGSSSSSS ))))) I am sooo happy for both of you. What a wonderful surprise! God really works in mysterious ways...and love comes when you least expect it. Keep smiling...

Thank you for all your kind wishes. My prayers are with all of you that soon you will find healing and peace too. ~~~~~~~~~ Carrieboo, Unfortunately I lost contact with my late fiance's family for some unexplainable reasons but even before they always send me best wishes that I may be able to find happiness again. I have searched my feelings but I couldnt feel any guilt for the happiness I feel now. I think it is because even before I entered into this new relationship I have already fully accepted his death and felt that he only wants me to live life again. And I try to honor him by living my life as best as I can. I also feel much peaceful now with the realization that he might be actually be at peace now from above to see me finding love again with the right person. At times I missed him and I just talked to him and say a prayer for him. I am sorry that you have to struggle with guilt..maybe you just need to keep in touch more with your grief by sharing your thoughts and letting go of your emotions. Sometimes we masked our grief by keeping busy but I have learned that it is important to let go of these feelings. If you feel any sadness, dont control your feelings but let go and feel it...it will pass. What is important is you allow yourself to feel those feelings. I understand that you would feel uncomfortable sharing your grief with your new love and you can always count on the people from this forum to be very understanding. You can always vent here about anything. It is also good to know that your new love is also understanding and supportive of your grief. I wish that your late fiance's family will be more understanding of the new joy you found now. I wish you peace and healing too.

Hi again, and thanks for your messages... I am 30 years old and lost my love almost 1 year and 3 months ago. We had plans to get married but it did not happen and it was very hard for me to accept his death. It was very painful losing the man I love so much and continue to love even up to now. I feel blessed that I have met someone now who understands the grief I felt before and he respects the love I have for him. I never thought I could feel love this way again, and I pray that this will be forever. I always feel that I have the blessings of my past love when I commit myself to this new relationship. I hope my story will continue to inspire all of you on this very difficult journey. I understand the pain, the hell that one has to go through each day..the struggle of going through each day without that person you love so much..the feeling of broken dreams, unknown future.. of going through my grief without support from friends. I am still thankful that I have found this website..this has been my lifesaver. I remember feeling so alone and all I could do was just log-in here and after a while I felt a little better knowing that there are people somewhere who understands my pain. I was able to cope with my grief by posting here a lot, sharing my emotions when I feel too burdened by my grief knowing that I wont be judge at all..And most of all, I tried not to think of the future because everytime I made plans for my future, I got so emotional and depressed that I decided to stopped planning for my future, I just take each day one day at a time..and I surrender everything to God. Ironic as it sounds but I stopped praying and I dont go to church anymore, I feel that even if I dont pray, God knows what is inside my heart and I never lose faith in Him. My new love came at the time that I was not looking for love, at the time when I was comfortable just being myself and contented with being alone. I tried not to think too much...to stop asking the "why's"..and I have learned to just go with the flow of life...to find joy in simple things each day.. Have a peaceful day to all..

Hope.... It has been a while since I have posted here and I just want to let you know that all of you are always in my prayers. Again I want to extend my gratitude for all the love, support and prayers you have given me. I never thought I could face life again, but I did...it was a hard and painful journey but I was able to handle it because of You. Thank you very much. You have seen me struggled with my grief, you have felt my pain, my anguish, my sorrow and You are always there to listen to me, to cry with me. Words are not enough to thank you. I remember going through each day in limbo...in numbness, and I remember that this forum has always been my comfort. The past few months have been like a dream to me...once again, I found a reason to live. I felt like I can now move forward. I felt like I have finally healed. Healing was a process and I have gone through different intense emotions to say that I am now ok and ready to face life again...to begin another chapter in my life. Yes, I have found someone special and he has been very understanding of the grief I felt before, I have found joy in him. And with my new love, I believe I have his blessings from above. For you who are starting this jouney and for anyone who is still struggling with pain, please dont give up hope, sometimes this is the only thing that we hang on to when everything else seems so dark. Just take each day one day at a time...one hour at a time...one minute at a time...this helps me a lot. Keep the faith even if it is too difficult to pray...God knows our pain. I wish all of you healing and peace. With prayers, lyn

Hi Kay, We are here for you. I have found friends on this forum who have been with me through my darkest moments, who have inspired me and listened to me when I felt like losing hope for the future and You are one of them and I want to thank you again for all the help and encouraging words you gave me. I thought I have friends before but I realized that they were not there for me during those times that I need them most. I have learned to deal with my grief through the support of this forum and through my faith. I dont go to church anymore but I am comfortable with my faith. Yes, I still see my friends sometime but I am no longer comfortable sharing my experiences with them, and I am fine with it. Please hang in there, we are always here for you.

hello Jackie, I understand your pain and I hope you are feeling better now...Yes, the pain is so great..this is how I am feeling now. I wish I could just sleep through the rest of this month(his birthday, my father's death anniversary, his coming first year this Saturday..) My heart is saying enough, enough of this pain, all I can do is pray and lift it all to God, hoping that He will help me get through this. I am just tired..too tired of this pain. I wish I could sleep straight for 3 days.

Thank you for your support. I made it through the day, and I am thankful that it is not as bad as I expect it to be. God bless.

It will be his birthday tomorrow. I barely cried the past month but was very anxious about his coming birthday and the coming first year of his death next week. But now as I write this, I couldnt help the tears from flowing again. I think I need your strength and prayers my friends to help me get through the coming days..Thank you.

DoubleJo, I am so happy that your result is negative. HUGS...

Kay, my heart is breaking for you. I really feel sad to hear about this. You are in my thoughts and I pray that you will have the strength and courage to go through this. I want to send you this virtual (((HUG))) to let you know that you always have our love and support. Please hang in there Kay.

This is always the place I can run to whenever I feel so down. Today is no exception..almost one year..the tears never run dry. I was feeling good a while ago, but when I started to think about some plans for the future..the tears start again, so I have to stop thinking but the tears wont. I wonder if my life will always be like this.. I dont know what more to say, and I guess I find comfort in being here, knowing that you my friends are out there..listening. I find comfort knowing that you feel my pain and you do understand..for a while, I will close my eyes and let my tears flow again.

Scotty, People goes on with their lives..we are left with nothing but memories and love to keep us going. I am sorry you're feeling down today, just let it out and keep on posting here. We are listening.. Only you can answer if your appointment with your councilor is therapeutic, maybe, you are kind of feeling numb right now to process everything. Hopefully, it will get better for you. ((hugs))..

Jackie, I hate those grief attacks too. They came out of nowhere and throw you backwards leaving you helpless again. But....you will feel a little better after a good cry, and just keep on posting here when you are feeling down. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am dreading the month of June too. I feel scared and nervous. It would have been his birthday and will be his first year since he's gone. I wish I could just sleep through the whole month.

Singledad, I am very sorry for your loss. I still cannot fathom why an almost perfect life can suddenly be altered by death, why a sincere love cannot last forever. As they say the only thing that is constant is change, but my loss left me completely devastated and hurting. Like you, I have asked the same questions..Why him, when there are so many people who hated life..why him who has so much love to give to the world. I lost my love almost a year ago, and it hurt very deeply. I live and go through each day not knowing why I am still living, but I know I just have to, I keep the faith that somehow, someday..things will get better, that somehow, one day I will heal too. This site has been very helpful to me, this has been my sanctuary, for the people here understand the pain of losing someone. Sometimes, I look back how far I have come, and realized that maybe I have made some progress. Yes those steps are very hard to take..most of the time it is like one step forward and two steps backward, but just keep on going..take a rest, a deep breath and allow yourself to feel all those emotions when it's really getting hard. I realized that the things that helped me in dealing with my grief are: > setting some time each day to feel the emotions. I allow myself to cry and feel the pain, to get angry with God, to question everything. > listening and reaching out to others > not thinking about the future itself. I tried to focus on the present moment..taking it one day, one hour, even one minute at a time. > I also find that music has its own way of healing. For a while I could not even listen to any music, but it gets better as months pass by, and it has helped me a lot in dealing with my grief. > reading inspirational books. > posting on this site. Almost all my friends are excited to start a life with their love ones, planning their wedding and all. I try not to depend on them to make me feel better, I try not to have any expectations for they could not possibly understand the pain I am going through. The people who can truly understand us are the ones who have gone through loss themselves. I am always thankful that I found this site. Peace and healing are very elusive when you are hurting. I am sending you and your family my prayers for strength to go through each day. We are here for you. Have hope that one day that void you feel in your heart will be filled again with peace and joy. Joy in knowing that you have experienced true love, that you have shared many years together with your wife, that you have found your soulmate and bestfriend..Many are not fortunate to experience real love. Our pain is a reminder that we have loved deeply, that we are loved deeply by our loved ones.

Elizabeth, Thank you for your encouraging words. True, the circle of life, and death is always painful. But it also teaches us to value life, relationships and the time we have here. You are a compassionate woman, and I appreciate the wisdom you shared with us here. Hope you will continue to inspire us. ~~~~~~ Gamer, thanks. Good to know that someone listens and understands. Hope you are doing well too.

Maury, I can relate well to the quote you've shared. I have been feeling hopeful too for the past few days. I couldnt exactly describe how it is, but I feel like I am ready to embrace life and its challenges again, and am actually looking forward to the coming days. There is the feeling of anticipation and hope..hope that my healing continues, hope that one day, I will be happy again. I have also noticed that I can recall some memories now with a smile. And most importantly, I can talk to God now without the feeling of anger. I really hope this will continue...

Today I went to work and found out that one of the patients I had taken care of for the past month died recently. She had cancer and I have seen how she lived the last few days of her life, how her health deteriorated, how she wanted to give up most of the time. I was off for several days and the news came as a shock to me. I feel sad about her passing, she was a young, beautiful lady. We were almost the same age. My mind is just too numb to think, I thought she will live for few more months.. I have a heavy heart now.

Thank you my friends for being here with me. Kim, your tattoo looks great. Im thinking of having one someday.. Gail, its been a while since we've last seen you here. I wish all of us some peace tonight..

Tomorrow is the 10th month and I thought Im doing ok. I am still not used to the ups and downs of this ride. I hate it, i feel nauseated and would definitely want to stop the ride. Just cant stop thinking that 10 months ago, my life was nearly perfect. I couldnt ask for more, I was so happy. Well, i just have to let the tears flow again...Thanks for listening..

Kay, You said it very well. You are a special person and you have continually inspired us here for your strength of character and for the good advices u have shared. I know it is a long, long road ahead 'til we meet our loved ones again but to know that someone here understands makes this journey a little bit bearable.