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Loss Of Pet


mindijuhl

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:angry2: My cat Miss Kitty died recently. She died from cancer. This is the second time I have had to do this my other cat Snowball also died from cancer. It has been hard these past few weeks. I have been crying alot. People think I am crazy for spending the money on her care. I thought she was going to get better. I miss her every day. I have lost 2 cats in 9 years. Some days it is hard to get going. I loved my cats and they were great friends. Mindi
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Dear Mindi,

I'm so very sorry to learn of the death of both your beloved Miss Kitty and Snowball from the same awful disease, and I can only imagine how empty your home and your life must seem without your faithful companions beside you. I'm not sure how you found your way to us, but if you haven't already done so, I'd like to suggest that you pay a long visit to my Grief Healing Web site: http://www.griefhealing.com, which offers information, comfort and support to those who are anticipating or mourning the death of a loved one, whether a person or a cherished companion animal. Among other things, if you take the time to visit all the pages there, you'll find a number of articles I've written on various aspects of loss (see my Articles ~ Columns ~ Books page and my Pet Loss Articles page), as well as some very special poems and inspirational pieces written by others that I've found and personally selected to share with my visitors (see the Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers page). I think it's very helpful to learn all you can about the grief associated with pet loss, so you'll have a better understanding of what you are experiencing and what you can do to manage your reactions. For example, you may want to take a look at the online pet loss course I wrote -- you can get a sense of it by clicking on Course Overview: Pet Loss. On my Pet-Loss Links page I've included many, many categorized links to other soothing and helpful Web sites devoted to those who've loved and lost their animal companions and want only to help you cope with losing yours.

You've already found your way to this warm and caring place, which can be very helpful in your grief journey. Sharing experiences with others this way often reassures us that, although the loss of our loved one is absolutely devastating, we are not alone in our pain, and by reading the accounts of others, we may come to realize that if others can get through such terrible losses, perhaps we will find a way to get through it, too.

You say this has hit you very hard, and you've been crying a lot. I can only tell you that what you are feeling is absolutely normal, even though you may feel at times that you are crazy or losing your mind. The depth of our grief is determined by the strength of our attachment to the ones who have died, and the pain we feel at losing them is the price we pay for loving them so much. I don't know who is telling you you're crazy "for spending the money on her care," but if that is the case, you need to find someone you trust to talk to about all of this -- someone who understands and respects the relationship you had with Miss Kitty and Snowball, and who will let you get your feelings out without judging you in the process. That can be a family member or close friend, a teacher, a pastor, a neighbor, or someone on the other end of a Pet Loss Telephone Helpline. You might check with your veterinarian or pet grooming specialist to see what "in person" pet loss resources are available in your own community. For a state-by-state listing, see Moira Allen's Pet Loss Support Page. See also my site's Helplines ~ Message Boards ~ Chats page.

Whatever you do, Mindi, I hope you won't try to struggle through these losses all by yourself. There is a vast assortment of help "out there" just waiting for you to find it.

I hope that this information proves helpful to you, my friend. No one can take your pain away at this sad and difficult time, but I can assure you that you do not have to endure it all alone. Please know that we are thinking of you and holding you close.

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