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Not What I Need Right Now For Sure

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Well, Sunday will be three years since my mom died. For those who don't know, she had called three ambulances during the summer of 2005.

Well, I found out tonight that my grandmother is doing the same thing. I'm not sure how long this has been going on, my brother has been keeping it from me since he didn't want to upset me. Right now, I just honestly don't feel it. (I have another bladder infection so I'm really not feeling much of anything right now. lol)

I know why she is doing it. She has two children, my mother and her brother. She also has an adopted daughter. She has lost contact with her adopted child, hasn't heard from her since 2004 and really hasn't heard from her since she left my grandmother's care when she was 18. My mother is gone, of course. That leaves my uncle who has moved to Ottawa, ON (I'm in Nova Scotia) last year. He retired and then moved. My uncle has been down maybe three times since he moved. He was down for a week, but didn't even take her out for supper. Only brought pizza, which bothers her stomach. He came down for like a day at Christmas and was down for a day the other week. Now, when his girlfriend (now wife) was in Ottawa and he lived here, he would make the trip to see her at least once a month, if not more. He has the finances to come down more often and being retired, sure as heck has the time.

She relied on him. Not for everyday things or mentally, but just to do stuff like change a lightbulb, do her taxes, go out to dinner with him every once in a while. This behaviour isn't normal for my grandmother. She does have problems with her bowel and that is the reason she has been getting ambulances. She has had problems for years and they never do anything for her. But for her to be doing this...she's doing it for attention because she's sad and lonely. It isn't like going to the hospital is getting her help, apparently she's pretty much just being sent home.

I should also add that my uncle left his ex-wife after almost 25 years of marriage. Just walked out on her one day. Their son was only in grade 10 at the time. Then my uncle found a new g/f...who is just a year older than me. They are now married and honestly...the whole situation makes me sick. It's like he wants to erase everything from his life.

In my opinion, there are things that they could have done. They could have moved to Halifax, which would have made sense. She has family about three hours from here and his son is in Halifax. (Halifax is our largest city.) At the very least, he could make more of an effort. Instead, he doesn't.

At this point, I don't think she'll see Christmas. We're getting into really tough days now--my mom's anniversary, her birthday, my mother's birthday...that's all within three weeks, too. And like I said twice already, this is NOT usual behaviour for my grandmother. I'm not blaming my uncle, per se...I just wish he'd take care of his mother a bit more.

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Thanks. I needed that. :)

Well, my grandmother is alright. I also came to some conclusions the weekend. One is--it isn't my mother all over again. If it wasn't for my brother, I wouldn't know what was going on. My grandmother isn't involving everyone. My mother tried to involve everyone.

Well, today was the third anniversary of it. My brother was here for the weekend, we had an ok weekend. It POURED about 10 am. Well, it has been raining most of the day, but it poured then. That's about the time she died three years ago and we got caught in it.

Then I needed a cab later in the day and ended up getting my conquest. Of all days to get him...right? I've been missing him all summer by about a minute or two. So I finally get it, mother dear. I only get him on my "good days". Never when I might try to want him to fix me.

Phew. Need more sleep, couldn't sleep (unrelated to grief) all week, now can't get enough of it. :lol:

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