An Introduction To My Grief

[GrievingSam]

Hey everyone,

I have just joined up and I thought I would tell you a little about why I am on here. I have lost 3 people that I am grieving for but the main, and by far teh hardest to cope with is my Nan.

Me and my Nan weren't like a normal Nan and granddaughter. I lived with my Nan from the age of 5 and spent like ALL my time with her. She was more like a Mum to me, a best friend.

I watched her suffer from lung cancer and was there with her from her very first diagnosis until the moment she took her last breath. (about 18 months in total.) She passed away at 11:45pm on 14th June 2007 and my world collapsed.

I hate to say it but I am still not recovered, no where near. She was my Nan, my Mum, my friend, my housemate, my everything.

I miss her with every breath I take and my life feels incomplete without her ....

[leeann]

Sam,

Welcome!

Glad you found us but sorry you had to.

Sounds like you and your Grandma were so very close. Sounds like she loved you well and you loved her well in return. And that I have learned is exactly why it hurts so much when our loved ones pass.

I hate to say it but I am still not recovered, no where near.

I have also learned there is no timetable for grief. It takes quite a long time to process our losses. And for me one of the best things I have found is it is real important for me not to judge my tears or the depths of my feelings. The more I try to suppress the expression of my grief... the worse I feel. So I have learned to just let my tears fall when I feel the need arise.

I lost my Grandma over 25 years ago now and I'll tell ya plain... I shed some tears for her just yesterday.. missing her presence still.

Now those feelings are way less intense than they were soon after she passed. The first couple years though were rather rough.

Keeping in mind that you and your Grandma lived together, it is not surprising in the least that you would still have intense feelings of grief. You took care of her and I'm sure you must have some feelings to process of just helping her die as well. I have found that caring for someone so intimately before they pass sure adds more dimension to the loss.

Try to be patient with yourself.. as she probably would have been with you.

And please feel welcome to come on back here to share more of your feelings.

(((Hugs)))

leeann

[GrievingSam]

heya

thank you for the reply. i was starting to think that people weren't active on here is it usually really quiet??

I have found that caring for someone so intimately before they pass sure adds more dimension to the loss.

that's very true. cancer is one of the worst things in the world. it took my nan from a healthy, fun loving woman and turned her into a frail, unable to walk, elderly person who was too scared to sleep alone incase she didnt wake up. watching someone u love go through all of that is nearly as heartbreaking as the actual death

[mlg]

Sorry for the loss of your Nan. I can relate in some ways but my one G'ma was 92 and wanted to die. I don't know that I really ever cried for her becaue she had been so unhappy since being cooped up in her house. She had been a very social person and needless to say her friends were either old or dead so she didn't get much company. My other G'ma's death was relatively sudden even though she had been on dialysis so it's a little hard to relate to things that you experienced living with your Nan and all.

As for it being quiet on here, there are times and especially weekends but usually you'll find someone to give a supportive ear.

I hope that by coming here, even if it is just to read others postings you will be consoled

Hugs

[GrievingSam]

thanks mlg.

i am sorry about the losses of your nans.

looking around the forum has been helping :-)