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The Week Before....

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So, one week from today will be my fathers 2 yr. ann. and I find myself waking up, and being emotional, kind of snippy and don't really want to do to much. I know that it all has to do with his ann. coming up but I can't seem to deal with it! I'm trying not to be emotional, snippy etc. cause I don't like being that way...but people keep saying that you gotta let these feelings be cause it's part of the grieving process. I have such a hard time letting my feelings be what they are, just for the fact that I can't stand feeling sad or emotional so I try not to let them bother me and just go on with my day. Is this wrong of me to do?? Should I just take these emotions and let them be?? I'm thinking Yes, I should but I can't seem to bring myself to let me feel the way I do. It just brings me down and makes me feel bad, cause I don't want to bring others into what I'm dealing with.

Maybe I'm just rambling on and on (I usually go in circles) about the same thing. Maybe I just know what I have to do, I just don't know how to do it or I don't want to???

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Maybe you are uncomfortable with the feelings and the emotions because you feel like you are out of control when you express them. But the reality is.. you are probably in MORE control when you do express them.

No one likes feeling sad.. but I find it is simply part of the grieving process and if I don't express my feelings I get more & more snippy and short tempered. So I try to just let the feelings be and express them as best I can.



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