The Death Of My Dad

[heather28]

My dad passed in feb let me give a background what happened and maybe someone can help in novemeber my dad had triple bypass he was a war veteran so he got the surgery at a veterans hospital they did not put him back together properly…while home one day in Pennsylvania he coughed and his chest came open he was rushed to the hospital in PA (a reg hospital)they said since the VA messed up they cant help my dad begged not to go back to the VA he said he had a bad feeling the minute he got there (i spoke to him right b4 he went there)they sedated him he was sedated for a month on Dec 20 i went to go see him he went into septic shock every organ started failing he was on dialysis etc… they said he had a 5 % chance of living after that around the end of dec he came through!! it was a miracle when he finally woke up he was in a vegatative state persistant one they said he would have to live in a nursing home alive on machines forever we decided to send him to hospice and took life support off my mom and i sat at his bedside until he died my mom was praying over him while he took his last breath he died attage 67 i have nightmares every night on what he looked like and what he was going through in his last hours its really hard to move on it seems like as time goes on it gets worse no one is compassionate especially my boyfriend i see his face constantly on how hard he was trying to hold on i watched him struggle to breathe the profuse sweating he was unresponsive to anything the only thing he did was open his eyes big constantly his eyes never closed that scares me so bad i was always his little girl and he never got to see me have kids or get married this is torcher its really giving me terrible thoughts i just wanna be with him what can i do to stop feeeling like this

[leeann]

Heather I'm so sorry about the loss of your beloved Dad.

We all can identify with what you are feeling and are.. unfortunately... very familiar with those feelings.

Those final images of him... many of us have found that they will eventually fade and be replaced by warm memories of happier times. So the fact that those images are there... is kinda normal, but they will fade over time.

However if you think you are having "too much" trouble shedding those images.. by all means.. call your Doc and let them know what is going on with you.

(I had some PTSD after I found my Mom and I needed to take an anti-anxiety med and I needed some Ambein as well to help me sleep... but only for a couple months. And both of those helped me through a very tough time. There is NO shame in getting some help from one's Doc... so don't hesitate to call your Doc or go in to see him/her.)

This is painful no two ways about it. It is going to hurt when we lose our parents.... and you are feeling it right now so keenly. We all did in the early days. So if it is any consolation to you... we have felt that pain and we survived it.

The love you and Dad shared is probably why this hurts so very much.

I think it helped me to read the posts here very much. So keep reading and also keep us posted on how you are doing.

((((hugs))))

leeann

[MichA]

Hi Heather,

I just recently lost my mom and it seems as though we are having many of the same feelings and thoughts. I have been reading other people's posts and it seems we are not alone with these thoughts. I can say that I have trouble getting the final moments out of my mind but it has been four weeks (yesterday) and slowly it's getting less vivid. I keep looking at pictures of my mom when she was my mom and although sometimes it brings me tears - it's nice to see her.

Take care

Michelle