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My 23 Year Old Son Died Of Thyroid Cancer January 14,2009


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I'm sending you an armful of prayers to help you through this terrible time. My 22 year old nephew died last December and the pain is still unbelievable. To lose a life so young and so promising is tragic. May God's peace hold you and give you strength as you endure.

Love,

Kath

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Thanks Kath,

My wife, Jill and I are getting through it but it is really hard. Thanks for your prayers as we all trudge through these difficult times together. PS. to add to it my father passed just a couple month after my son. Stretched on both sides but we are leaning on God's grace more than ever.

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It was my brother's son that died and for him, his wife and 20 year-old daughter, their saving grace has been to find a couple grief groups. They've connected with other parents going through the same thing with children close to Dustin's age. Have you been able to check into any local organizations that might offer a group? As hard as it is to face our own grief, it is doubly hard when trying to do it alone. It stresses even the best marriages and with your father's death, compounds it even more.

Take good care.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My wife and I travel a lot so it would be really hard to join a support group but thanks for the advice. Thats why I have joined a few email support groups like this so I can stay in touch while on the road. I have been in contact with frieinds who have also lost loved ones and talking with them seems to help the most. I have a couple of Pastors who have stayed in touch with me as well. It seems I am learning to just make decisions sometimes to not be sad and to try to look at the positive side of my son being in heaven and reaching the ultimate goal that we all will eventually enter. Now that doesn't always stop the sadness of missing him and the tears still flow freely but it does help. I guess I'm realizing that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change this his passing so I have to figure out a way to move forward in a healthy manner and think positive again. I know he is blessed and as one person said moving on with my life is not like moving away from Him but it is moving towards Him because He is n my future :)

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I'm glad you have some special people in your life to support you and your wife. I reached several plateaus in my grief journey that seem to have corrected my course somewhat. Early on I realized I could not deal with the intense feelings of pain and loss alone. I reached for a deeper understanding of God and was rewarded with some very special relationships through my parish. After a year, I decided I did not want to carry the sadness with me. It was burdensome and stifling so I chose to find happiness. I looked for it specifically each day. I also made the decision to use my job loss as a time to embrace my grief. I went to daily Mass, listened to songs that made me cry, looked at pictures, read books, joined grief groups, wrote letters, sorted through clothing and found this family of mourners. The tears still come quite often, but I try to view it as a cleansing rather than a disability. My loss is still felt every day (it's only been two years) but I have found joy in this life and there were many months I thought that could never happen again. It helps me to think of my husband and nephew as being in a safe place. I, too, look forward to my future with them.

Take care,

Kath

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