I Have Found My Way Back And Still " Loving Denny"

[loving denny]

i would first like to apologize to the friends that i have made here when i just disappeared, especially you boo i got logged out of here one day and realized that i had no idea what my password was, what name i was under and it was just a "cluster"!!! i haven't been able to post in quite sometime and i am so glad to be back, this place has helped me out so much!!! the times are still very, very lonely and i am just heartsick without denny. the last time i posted i had gone to the area of land where my love drew his last breath on this earth and began his new journey a coworker of my baby's drove me out to where he and denny worked saturday morning cutting wood out of the area, denny had sent his coworker on after filling his truck and told him that he would be right behind him, he had a half dozen pieces fo wood to toss on his truck and he would be out, well his co worker, kenny, went on out since his truck was ready and somewhere in a short time frame after that denny was taken with a massive heart attack at age 49, he had been 49 years old for approx one month and one day th is being a saturday morning that this happened, and recieving a call from denny saying i'm on my way home hunny, what's for dinner??? it got later and later and i heard nothing from him and hate to admit this but i ws getting rather pissed, because if denny said he was on his way, he was on his way!!! the area that they were cutting wood i had no clue how to find, and denny and i didn't live together all the time, we shared both places, so since i didn't know where he was cutting wood nor the name of the coworker who wass with him, i sat, and sat until monday morning....they foiund him on that day, but no one knowing about denny and i......i wasn't told until the monday after that. my love and soulmate by that time had been celebrated in a service and he was cremated. i was distraught!!!! the coworker, kenny, knowing that it had happened to me came to me and ask if i would like to go where dennis had been found. he cried, i cried and things took a turn right about there for me. if you read my last post, i felt that to be a very warm and welcoming spot, dennis loved the summer time. a beautiful tree bloomed cords of woods stacked around t he area. well, for me kenny, and a couple other guys that worked with denny gained permission form the owner of the property to keep that spot secluded well away from the buildings going up, then the guys built a small fence around the area and place personnal effects of my loves there. we have planted beautiful flowers and made a shrine for denny. i go there often and went there just last week and found that a lawn chair had placed out there with alittle note saying it was from the guys we keep it beautiful there and i am so thankful that "the guys" gave me that wonderful place where my baby was when he passed into God's hands. I also think they were awesome to bring me the char!! they gave me a wonderful gift that no dollar amount could ever touch!!! Now i can go visit and talk with denny and it has lightened my heart, and he has beautiful color surrounding him and he will be blessed with a beautiful summer....i love you denny and i so wish that i could just come get you and bring you home baby. but i know that we will meet again one day and i know you will be right there waiting to see me hunny and i will run into your arms then and stay for eternity baby.gone from my life for 2 months today and it still feels like yesterday!! thank all of you for listening to me carry on, but i have missed having this gift and i am sooooo glad to be back i love you denny and i still think about you 24/7, keep pushing me to keep moving baby, it helps me!!!

[Boo Mayhew]

Hi Joanna

we have been keeping in touch separately, but I am so glad that you found your password and got back onto the board. It is good to see your name up there again!!!

The memorial space you have for Denny is just wonderful. His co-worker and the owner of the place sound like lovely people too.

I have to tell you that I think you are a very strong and brave person ... I cannot imagine the shock of finding out the way you did. I find that grief can make me quite selfish, and this board ... reading other's experiences ... grounds me again.

Welcome back hun

xx