Tragic Loss Of Tina: Russian Blue 1.5 Years

[Trent]

Hello ladies and gents.

I was virtually distraught today, when I learned that my next-door neighbours two small dogs were responsible for chasing down and killing our little girl .

I was grateful however, for finally knowing her fate after her being missing for 48 hours.

To think it all happened some 50 metres away, and I knew nothing of it and was powerless to help.

Tina was first and foremost a house cat, as are most Russian Blue's. Gradually we introduced her to the outside environment, something she was very grateful for and took much pleasure in her little outings.

Tina did have a tendency to wander however, but always seemed careful to avoid dogs and traffic in our street.

As it was revealed to me, the owner was taking his two small dogs for a walk down to the regional open space some 100 metres away. The dogs were (illegally) not on leashes, and chased after Tina who was at a nearby property. The dogs chased her under a tree (cats go to dark places to hide) where they strangled her (to that effect) before being pulled off by their owner.

The neighbour failed to seek veterinary assistance for Tina, and left her there for two days . I am relieved I put out a flyer, else I would not have recovered her body, the thought of which is almost as sickening as the act which led to her death.

I do not know how to reconcile the events of that day. With past cats they have died from natural causes; our last cat before Tina (2.5 years ago now), was an 18 year old bi-color female.

On the 30th of June I got home at 4pm (Tina's normal curfew time), and decided to let her outside suspecting she may have needed to go to the toilet; her preference.

I cannot reconcile this act. That on that day, against my better judgment, I let her out past her curfew and it led to her death.

It certainly wasn't the cause, and I had no way of knowing it would produce that outcome, but I did know there was a chance.

I have dealt with grief before but nothing like this. I have support, but it only distracts my mind. In the past I have been able to rationalise the death of a pet; she had a good and long life; he had a decent run but was unfortunate in being hit by a car.

Are my feelings of guilt in this case irrational? I do not want to be acquitted of blame or responsibility, I just want an unaffected parties perspective. Could you see yourself reaching the same conclusions as I?

With a very heavy heart,

Trent

[MartyT]

My dear Trent,

I'm so sorry to learn of the horrible circumstances surrounding the death of your beloved Tina, and I certainly can understand the depth of the pain you are feeling now. Of course there is nothing any of us can say to take away that pain, but I want to assure you that you're not alone. We've all done things about which we feel terribly guilty, and for which we'd give anything to change the outcome. I know you'll be hearing from some of our other members in response to your post, but in the meantime I want to point you to some earlier posts and resources that I hope you will find helpful and informative:

I Accidentally Killed My Cat, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?s=&a...dpost&p=578

A Really Bad Evening, http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=3758

Loss and the Burden of Guilt, http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-a...en-of-guilt.htm

Radio Segment on Pet Loss Grief and Guilt, http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/deal..._pet_loss.shtml

[Trent]

Thankyou Marty. Your support is greatly appreciated. Those posts were of great help, in particular the second involving the 13 year old boy.

"I will always have a place in my heart for her and no one else. I will make room in my heart for another, but not now."

I have dealt with different kinds of grief before; the loss of several pets, grandparents and cousins.

However, I have experienced more profound grief in the last two days than ever before in my short 22 years.

As an adult and being solely responsible for Tina, I felt I had a strong parental bond with her.

It has had a remarkable impact on myself and my mother. Our home feels very lonely now, and I still find myself looking for Tina all the time. It is very depressing.

At this point in time the grief is really too great for me to come to terms with what meaning or impact this will have had on my life.

Suffice to say it has been profound, and I don't think I will have any capacity for neighborly trust ever again