Super Mom

[Carla Dee]

Hi, I'm new to this website but I see that a lot of people are hurting just like me... My mom passed in March of this year. She was diagnosed with lung cancer in February 2008 and passed away in March of 2009. That was the longest year and the shortest year of my life! I know we all think our moms are the most special in our lives and yes I would be the first to say she was a Super Mom! All my life she was my super hero and I feel her in spirit every hour of the day.. The first day she went for Chemo therpy she came out and just as she was getting in the car she noticed a penny on the ground and she said it was her lucky day! My siblings also found penny's on the ground- so we all feel that when we see those penny's it must be her sending them to us- smile.. Not only did my mom have Cancer but she was almost totally blind and once the chemo started she lost all of what she couldn't see.. She was very strong willed and even up to the last week she kept saying that if only she could help out cleaning or cooking she woudl be thankful.. My husband and I lived with her and God forbid I tell people that I was her care giver she would let them know that she was able to take care of herself! Believe it or not she felt better when she could take care of me or someone else.. She was a tiny woman but she was one of the strongest women I've ever met! Yes, I'm gieving but I know that my mom is in a much better place! I think the hardest part for me was that prior to that horrible day that she was diagnosed she never even got a cold.. She used to claim she was a healthy as a horse and then when she got the Cancer I told her that she was a strong as a bull! She made chemo look like it was a walk in the park- never really got too sick but she felt that it wasn't quality of life if she couldn't do those daily chores.. I take comfort in the fact that she was seeing children and family members at the end. At least she was able to see again! The last morning she spoke to us she asked for chocolate and I pinched off a piece and she gave everyone chocolate kisses.. That was just the kind of woman she was- always making sure everyone was happy! I Take every moment of every day and thank God that I had many days, hours and minutes with her.. Thanks, Carla Dee

[MouseGoddess]

This sounds almost exactly what happened with my mother...lung cancer, strong willed, always wanting to help me, just wanted me to be happy, and lived with my husband and I. But I only had eight months from diagnosis to losing her, and it wasn't to the cancer. She had pneumonia and kept telling the doctor she couldn't breathe and he just said it was COPD and to see a respiratory doctor. Finally she went in and said to just put her in the hospital and run tests and see why she was getting weaker and having more trouble breathing. He said she wasn't sick enough to be in the hospital, without even listening to her lungs or anything. The next day she was too weak to sit up so I called the paramedics. They said they could hear a rill in her lower lung and she also had sepsis. They took her in to the hospital and two hours later she slipped into a coma and the next day I lost her. But she wasn't SICK ENOUGH to go to the hospital! As far as I'm concerned, that doctor (or rather, PA, that's all he was) killed her.

[Carla Dee]

Dear MouseGoddess,

Cute name by the way... I'm so sorry that you had to loose your mom so quickly.. Cancer or any type of death is not fun by no means.. I also took care of my step father with Parkinson's and he went about 11 days without eating or drinking.. Mom too went 9 days and that was tough! We almost lost her when she was first diagnosed and I feel that is she had not done the chemo we would not of had her for very long. I know in my heart that she did it for us kids.. We were very lucky because we were able to spend that extra time with her but in the end it was tough.. She too had fluid that kept building up in her lung and they had to drain it quite a few times with as much fluid you could fill a 2 liter pop bottle.. The surgery they did was very painful to say the least! I know for me that no matter how long mom would have lived it would not have been enough! I have to keep telling myself that she is doing much better where she is and hopefully one of these days I'll reunite with her and the rest of my family.. In the end she spoke with my Grandmother, Stepfather and quite a few of her brothers and sisters on the other side.. After having both of my parents with hospice in the home I do feel that there is life on the other side.. I'm sure your mother loved the fact that you were with her and making sure she was taken care of.. Even though unfotunately for you she passed very quickly it was how she went out of this life.. Hang in there and write again if you would like.. Carla

[MouseGoddess]

I miss her so much....I was always in her room talking with her. I wore a pedometer one day and I logged two miles just back and forth to her room! Now, I see her door closed and know I have no where to go, no one to jabber with, no one to cook for......oh, sure, my husband and I. We can eat take out, I don't feel like cooking any more.

When we went to the hospital and she was in a coma, they told me to talk to her and maybe she would hear my voice and come to a bit. I did, I talked, I called her, and she finally managed to half open her eyes and even with the respirator in her mouth she gave me a half smile! I was so excited! I thought it was a good sign and maybe she would be OK. I knew she saw me and knew I was there. The nurse sent us out to eat while they did a ct scan and drained her lung. But I got a call before that happened saying she had just coded! We got back to the hospital while they were still working on her, but the doctor said it was useless.

When we walked out of the hospital I dried my eyes and looked up, and saw in a clear Arizona sky, one lone cloud with sun beams radiating out from around it. I swear, it was God coming for my mother! I know she went into the light and there will never be any contact from the other side. Her business was done here......and I'm alone.

[Carla Dee]

Dear MouseGoddess,

We must be very much a like- even have strange hours that we keep.. I wrote this to another person but I wanted you to read it too.. Just shortly after mom passed I was taking a shower and looked over and to my amazement there was this golden angel shining next to me. I got so excited because I felt it had to be her reaching out to me! I called my husband in to show him because I knew that no one would believe me.. He looked as surprised as I did.. I do photography as a hobby and I ran and got my camera.. You can see for yourself what I saw that morning.. Believe it or not I had taken showers in that room a hundred times and never noticed that angel before.. We have recently moved from her house and I do miss the golden angel that appeared ever so often after that but I still feel her like the other day a hummingbird flew up to my patio window and hovered as I sat with my aunt (her sister) I just knew it had to be her.. Maybe you should try to hang onto the things that you and her shared and focus on them.. I'm not a coucelor but I took care of both of my parents at home with hospice until they both passed and I thank God every day that I was able to spend that time with them. After taking care of them and seeing them talk to people on the other side as they were passing I pray that when it's my time to go I'll be able to meet up with all of them too.. Hang in there and believe that your mom is still with you guiding you and hopefully it will get easier.. P.S. we should get some rest-smile.. Carla