My Heart Is Broken. Goodbye Little Bozzy

[Ian]

I just needed to write about my little friend who was killed by a car on Tuesday morning. Bozzy was the dearest, sweetest little cat and best friend to me and my wife Debbie. We only found out last night after putting notices through all the doors in the village. We've been looking for him since Tuesday morning when he didn't come in to cuddle up next to us at some point in the night. We don't know when he died for sure and I recovered his body last night with a neighbour.

Mostly, I just feel this urgent need to talk about him and tell everyone how special he was. We have three other cats, two of them we have had since we were married eleven years ago but none of them has made the same impact as Bozzy. I'm ashamed to say, I would trade any of them to have my little shadow back. I just need to ramble on about this dear, sweet little creature because I don't know what else to do. I haven't slept since I found him in the undergrowth last night so I don't know what else to do.

My heart is so broken and Debbie's too, we can hardly speak to each other. We are not blaming each other, thankfully, it just hurts too much to talk about him or even to talk about anything else.

Bozzy was actually one of two kittens my neighbour Georgie got a couple of years ago. Within a couple of weeks Bozzy had decided he wanted to live with us and there was nothing we or Georgie could do about it. It was like a scene from the Flintstones where she would come round the front to collect him and he would bolt out the back and into our house before you could sit down. The other kitten remained but Bozzy chose us and we felt honoured. Thankfully, Georgie has been excellent about it and it was she that helped me pick him up last night and bury him this morning.

I don't think Georgie understands what a special fellow he was though. You see, he wasn't a cat really, or at least no one told him he was a cat. His job on earth was to follow me and help me with whatever I was up to.

Who is going to help me fix the car now? Who is going to sit on my keyboard and help me type while watching the mouse fly around the screen? Who is going to sit on the side of the bath while I take a soak? Who is going to snuggle behind my legs when I go to bed or lounge on the sofa? He was very good at making sure both Debbie and I got equal snuggles. And how can I finish painting the house without Bozzy on my shoulder telling me not to worry about the height whilst 25ft up a ladder. Debbie won't be able to do the ironing or clean the kitchen floor without the little chap sitting on her shoulders and supervising the whole job. And he never had a disapproving word. But more than anything, how can I bear not have the little one run down the stairs to greet me when I return at 2am in the morning from a business trip?

We only new him for a couple of years but what a blessing. I can't decide whether the poet was right when he said it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It doesn't feel like it where I am right now. This dearest, sweetest little creature lit up our lives in a way that is indescribable. We knew it at the time but perhaps only now we know how much.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to talk about him. My eyes are so full of tears I have to leave it here. At least I know people on this forum will understand and, right now, that's all I have. My heart is broken. Goodbye Bozzy. Goodbye little chap.

[MartyT]

Oh Ian, your description of your relationship with your beloved Bozzy is priceless. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I can only imagine how devastating this is for you and your wife Debbie. Please know that you have our deepest sympathy ~ and yes, we certainly do understand

[smiley]

I am so sorry to hear about the tragic accident that too the life of your precious kitty. My heart and prayers goes out to you. They become such a part of our lives and heart. I lost my preious Peppers 5 years ago due to cancer. I still miss her very much to this day. She was my four legged child and my baby girl.