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Anyone ever find themselves wanting to punch their loved ones doctor. Or maybe not even that far, but just being very angry with them because they don't get back to you soon enough or they continuously say the same thing or give you the same answer almost like they are too lazy to try anything else? I am just very frustrated as my dad is sick and he is having all of these extra symptoms which by the looks of everything screams that the cancer has metastasized to his brain and we are getting no answers. He already cant do anything and is confined to the house and now he can even watch TV without seeing double vision and he has a headache everyday. I just want to shake his doctor for not getting back to us. I don't know what time limit to give... but it has been 3 days and these symptoms have been going on for a while. I can barely deal with the fact that he is dying - I WILL NOT deal with him dying in pain or being uncomfortable.

Ugh. Sorry, I am very upset and very anxious/nervous about these results and every minute I don't know feels like a lifetime.

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Its Ok, you can vent your anger, frustrations, etc.

About the doctors, when are they supposed to give you guys results from the MRI? From what I remember your dad had a PET scan right? and it came out clear. I know anxiety can get the best of us, but you need to stay calm, make your dad feel as comfortable as possible. Have doctors prescribed anything for the pain? his headaches?

I wish there were more I could say or do, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hang in there.

_L

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I was just having a conversation with my Mom about her pulmonologist. I am so furious with him! He is a liar, a cheat and a phony! For years, my Mom visited him every 3 months. I always got concerned with these visits. I would ask my Mom, "what did he say?" She would always say, "he said I am fine and to come back and see him in 3 months." I would be relieved. Well, the moron did not have her have a chest x-ray all that time in over 4 years, because he said he "saw nothing that made it seem necessary." Well IDIOT, wouldn't you think that for an 83 year old former smoker that she should have a chest x-ray JUST IN CASE!?? I am not even a doctor and I know that!

I am sorry, it has been a very rough month. Problem too is my siblings seem to think he knows what he is doing and if he thought she needed one he would have had her have one. Nonsense! I cannot tell you how furious I am at him.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am brand new here and would like to strangle my Mother's dr. He did radiation on her brain and chest saying that "she will get several more months of quality life by doing this". Well, the last week she has been at deaths door, has stopped eating, or drinking water, can barely do anything, doesn't watch tv or anything, just sleeps. Now, had he mentioned this, we would have chosen to let nature take it's course. This is hell on earth for me. I got a baby monitor for her room so I can tell if she is moving around or needs me, and now at least I can sleep a bit. I was almost crazy after a week of no sleep, me not eating because I felt some weird guilt eating and she couldn't. I cried for a solid day and night because of the guilt of going along with the drs "program".

I have lost a child, a sibling, my father, my best friend and many close family members, but this is the worst. The rest of my siblings have stopped calling or responding to my calls or emails, I know it is difficult to deal with, I wish I could run away from it too and pretend it wasn't happening, but I promised my Mother I would take care of her and I have no intentions of breaking that promise.

I am so angry at the dr for not telling me what to expect, for being so impatient with my questions and concerns, it is all no big deal to him, but to me, it is my Mother... I guess they just have to distance themselves, do what they think will work and just hope. I just finished chemo and it didn't work, so I am weak and sick as heck too, my dog is dying and I have no help here. I moved over here from Texas to help my Mother out because she didn't want to move away from her grandson, but my sister is horrible and so mean spirited about everything it is shocking. She talked my Mom into moving here about ten years ago, promising the moon and wonderful things, so she sold her home, bought one here and the abuse began, my sister bankrupted my mother by putting all of her credit card debt onto hers, then couldn't or wouldn't pay her back, so I moved here, bought a house (that flooded every time it rained) the previous owners lied about it and I got conned. So here I am in a house I hate, with my poor dog, sick with pancreatitis and diabetes, has gone blind and is in pain. He gets his meds and shots twice, and I just felt l need some support and some information. I hope you will all help me and I will in turn help you as I regain my strength. God bless us all.

This is no fun at all...I don't know how you all are doing this, you seem so strong, so much stronger...

Cynthia...

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Cynthia, I am so sorry about your mom and your pain and your dog too. I wish these things would just not happen to people. Suffering is not the way. My dad has days where he is mostly normal except his headaches and then the whole next week he sleeps all the time, is sick (puking) refuses to eat and/or drink and just plain wishes someone would shoot him. I feel bad because there is nothing we can do... we just have to comfort him. Sometimes I think that doctors don't really know what they are talking about when it comes to cancer. I don't think we know enough about it yet to listen completely to what the doctors say. I am still wishing that my dad will stay strong and fight because I think there still may be a way he can win this battle. But then I have days where I want to cry, kick and scream like a 2 year old about the whole thing. I am very angry that this is going on with my dad and I am very hurt that it had to be him. If I could trade him my life, I would.

I understand what you mean about the eating thing and how you feel like it is unfair that we can and they cant. I feel that way about people being happy. I feel it is unfair to be happy when my dad is dying. Why should I be happy? What, because he is still here? Should I ignore his "impending doom"? I have been told that the only man in my life that I can trust and who loves me for me is going to die and people expect me to be happy. Also, it pisses me off when his friends are happy or other family members are happy because there is not reason for them to smile when my dad is sick. I have thought about just reaching out and punching them in the face when they come over and talk to my dad about snowmobiling or camping or motorcycle riding... these are all things my dad is no longer able to do that he loved. Then people come around talking about what a good time they had when they did it. I get so pissed off. I may be the glue that holds my family together... but I am the glue for a reason, this reason is I state it how it is, I put up with no crap,I get things done when others are too upset to and I am the only one that will lay the iron fist (as in you will not mess with my family).

Anyway, Cynthia... you mentioned that we are all strong and in fact we are not. We all have our moments but for the most part we all feel like you do in at least some way. I am glad you found us, welcome to the site - we are always here to listen to you.

-Sharla

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Hi Cynthia,

Very sorry you have to be here like I am sorry for the rest of us. I wish this place was more interactive with more people posting. First of all, know that you are doing the right thing by taking care of your Mom. She appreciates it even if she can't show it or say it. And God is watching and will bless you. I lost my Dad 15 years ago and my dog 3 years ago (although I have a new one now who I love, but I always miss the old one). You can read about my situation if you want in other posts, but I am not dealing with this well at all.

Also, I am very sorry about your siblings. I know from experience that dealing with this kind of situation with siblings is not always easy at all. Also, I completely understand about the guilt of eating. I feel guilty doing anything other than being by my Mom. I keep telling myself to cherish every single moment with her no matter what the situation. This is the saddest I have ever been in my life. I also feel so hopeless about the future and I am starting not want to continue life without her. That's how much she means to me. Life without her will never be the same. Nothing will. Nothing at all. Every time I do, hear, see, read, watch, or remember or think about anything or go anywhere I will always think about her.

Sharla, I completely understand your feeling about people mentioning things your Dad cannot do anymore. However, people sometimes try to make conversation about things they know the person is interested in thinking they are diverting them. I understand your feelings completely and don't think they should tell him about what a great time they had doing something that he cannot do anymore. People deal with things in different ways that we don't always understand nor agree with. And I completely understand what you mean about doctors! I too think they know little about this horrible disease and perhaps even do not want to find a cure for it

because it would but them and the insurance companies out of business! We are just numbers to all of them.

My heart grieves and aches as I write this. I am so sorry for what everyone is going through.

Hugs to all! ((((((( )))))))

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