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Having Many Flashbacks

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Hi All,

I have just got home from my therapist and we had a really long talk about everything that went on this week... I promised her I would not do anything and I would talk to her if I felt the need too... But right now I am starting this topic on flashbacks because I have had several the last few weeks... It is so crazy what simple things you see and they make you have flashbacks from the past... Like walking down the street and seeing lilacs trees and smelling them I got so upset because everytime I saw them I would see my mom's face and remember how much she loved them... Another flashback was hearing just a simple song on the radio like My heart will go on and bridge over troubled water and remembering how much my mom and dad loved these songs and they were the first ones I remember hearing after each of their deaths... Another day it was a vegetable garden and again I saw my mom digging in her garden... This is so weird how I have these memories about the simple things in life... Shelley

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hi hun,

Oh BOY can I relate to this. Everywhere I go, everything I do there seems to be something. The sunshine is something that crushes me so much and I just want to see rain and dull days. The sun just reminds me so much of my last 2 vacations with Dad, walking around in the scorching heat, laughing at night at the pain in our legs and so on. I'm having such a hard time knowing it will never be like that again.

One thing I have an awful time with is seeing fire engines or ambulances driving at high speed, they set me off in panic attack remembering the night we got the call, reminds me of me speeding to the hospital, breaking every red light on the way. I got stuck with a friend in traffic on saturday because of a very bad car accident, 3 fire engines, 3 ambulances. Everyone was standing around the road talking, wondering. I was ok initially and as soon as 2 ambulances left the scene I broke down when the passed me, my legs would not stop shaking when I sat down. It eased after maybe 10 mins and I was so lucky my friend was with me.

as you say the simplest little things are just constant reminders of the pain and loss we have now forever. it's just so so hard.

lots of love and hugs to you as always dear friend,



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Hi Niamh,

Thanks for the reply, I knew someone would understand... I know my friends do not because most of them have not lost anyone really close to them... I just find that when this happens it is best to let it happen and not stop it.. I tried to stop crying but it was worst than if I had let it happen and finish with the tears... Shelley

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I understand this,too.I get flashbacks all the time,over every little thing.Indiana Jones was on tv not too long ago,and I thought of my dad.When it rains I think of him.When I drive past the hospital,I think of him.Songs on the radio,the river we fished in.29 years of memories and I cant get away.Something happens to me that I dont hear people talk about,but I think I see my dad everywhere.Driving in cars,walking down the street,shopping.Of course they are never him,but people always resemble him.It sends me into fits.It's heartwrenching.Good luck to both of you sweethearts-xoxo

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  • 2 weeks later...

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