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Such A Deep Hurt


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It's less than 3 months since my Joel was taken from me - and while I'm seemingly 'moving along', I've never felt so alone and so full of despair. Our home - the one we loved - is now just a house. My beloved quiet evenings with him are now so lonely and empty. The thought of forever without him is just too heartbreaking - I can't face it, yet I can't run away from it either.

I am thankful for my friends and famiy - and they are glad to see me 'improving' - they just don't/ can't know the depth of this hurt.

Knowing that you are reading this and understand is somehow comforting.......

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I am so sorry for your loss, and your pain. I also lost my husband on April 6, pancreatic cancer that spread, he was gone in 3 weeks. so I do know the feelings that you have, my insides ache, the counselor told me that the feeling I described to him is heartache. the tightness from my throat through my chest and stomach, We were together for 43 years, He was a very strong man and healthy, I don't know what happened to him. It is terrible this grief, and it is terrible to be alone, we were always together, never apart for not a day except when I had my children. we loved each other and liked each other. The house is so quiet now, I have to leave the TV or radio on all the time, can't stand the silence. are you working? we have to keep ourselves very busy, that is the only thing we can do, push ourselves out of the house, and to talk to people, and keep going, or we will fall apart. This is a very good place to vent and to pour your heart out, everyone here understands, and is somewhere in the grief process, it really helps to let it out. Are there any bereavement groups around you, I have been going and that also helps, people who understand truly how you feel.

Have a good night

sending you hugs

Karen

Edited by closs86
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The one thought I truly have found daunting is living the whole rest of my life (I am 42) without my other half. I never before considered being alone when I get older, but I look to that future with a degree of trepidation, now. I do have my daughter, just a toddler now, so I have many years of together time with her, but she will grow up and move out and start her own life. I don't fear many things, but I do fear that day.

It has been 11 months, and while the pain has now kinda settled in and become part of me, it is not always front and center and overpowering; and thankfully, I do find some peace in believing Scott is up in heaven, waiting for me when the time comes.

Hang in there,

Korina

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