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How Can One Move On When I Didnt Get To Say Goodbye


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My mother passed away on Feb 14th 2010, I wish that i could have told her that i loved her one more time before she went i miss her so much there are so many things that she wont get to see. She wont get to see me get married or have children, heck even graduate college for that matter. I loved her with all my heart and soul. I feel so bad that i didnt stay that last night that she was in the hospice. I just couldnt watch her like that I was there every other day for the whole 2 weeks leading up to her death. I feel so heart broken that i cant explain. I want her back. So let me pose the question how do i move on and get over things when i feel like i didnt even get to say good-bye, oh and her remains are 2600 miles away!

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I understand completely, My wife died in a diving accident. We were together on the boat she jumped in and that was the last time I saw her alive. If I had entered the water first, I could have saved her, regrets. How, do you get past them? But, know that her remains are not her, she is in your heart and soul. Once we get past the horror I'm sure we will feel them near. But, first we have to get through the Hell!!

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Dear Peach,

Sending you hugs of comfort ((((((( ))))))))), I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Mother. Welcome to this forum. There are a lot of great people here.

Please don’t be hard on yourself. Your Mother understands that it was difficult for you to see her that way. Not sure if you believe in the afterlife. I truly believe in the afterlife. I use the present tense because your Mother does continue to live just in a different dimension. She is healed, happy and watching over you. Your Mother can hear you when you talk to her or think about her. Tell her all the things you weren’t able to say to her before she crossed over or write it in a letter. She will hear you. You know, there are really no goodbyes because she is closer than you think. I truly believe that your Mother will be at all the special events in your life. She would not miss it for the world. She will see you get married, have children and graduate college. Just because you can’t see her with your own earthly eyes does not mean she is not around you.

It doesn’t matter that your Mother’s remains are 2600 miles away. You can make a little special place in your home with a picture of her, some flowers, a battery operated candle or whatever you choose. I have that at home for my Dad. It is like a part of him is here with me in that special place.

Your Mother knows how much you love her and miss her. The bond you have with your Mother can never be broken. It grows stronger every day.

Sending you hugs, love, comfort and strength.

Butterfly9

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Thank you! I just wish that there was more that i could have done i guess...Thank you butterfly you actually made me cry my wounds are so fresh and i feel like i keep taking the bandage off and it still isnt getting and better!

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Hi Peach, First of all I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.. I feel what you are going through, both my parents died in hospital and even though I was at my mom's side at her death she was in a coma and did not even know I was there... I just wish I could hear her voice and tell me it was okay but that was not meant to be... with my dad he had gone through chemo and caught a cold and was admitted to hospital and died early the next morning so again I feel what you are going through and I would wish the feeling not on anyone... I wish I could make it so everyone could say good bye at the end.. Shelley

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Hi Peach,

Everyone says the same thing, that they should have done this or that. It is a part of grieving. Your Mother understands completely. Just continue to talk to her because I know she is around you.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I know what you mean when you feel you aren’t getting better. I feel the same way. I’m still in shock and disbelief. It is so strange. It is like this dream world I am living in. I wish I could wake up and my Dad would be here again and he would be healthy. I want my Dad back so much also. As they say some are meant to be healed on this side of the veil and others are meant to be healed on the other side of the veil.

I know it is hard when our loved ones are no longer here in the physical form. However, what brings me some comfort is knowing that my Dad is alive and well just in a different dimension. The bond we share can never be broken. We will see them again someday.

Hello from Heaven by Bill and Judy Guggenheim is a great book to read if you are open to After Death Communication. It might bring you a little comfort. Hang in there and be kind to yourself.

Sending you hugs, love and strength.

Butterfly9

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thank you for all the kind word....I just dont know how i cant seem to get over things i mean it really is a different feeling when it is a parent other than an aunt or an uncle or a grandparent...not saying that they arent important but there is a large difference! Thanks you all agian

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After my husband got the diagnosis of lung cancer we never discussed the possibility of him not making it. In retrospect it was pretty stupid. We were both trying to belive and trust God that He was going to give us more time. Neither of us wanted to say anything negative. I wish we would have taken the opportunity to say "goodbye". The regrets are eatting away at me. It sounds like no matter how good our releationships were, we alll have regrets.

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