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[lightacandle]

Hi there everyone how are you? my nightmare started in october last year when my husband came home from working away for 3 months, he did did not feel well but just thought it was the flu, i urged him to go to the dr, the results were spots on the liver and shadows on the lungs. At the hospital we were told it was an incureable cancer one of the worst we did 12 weeks of chemo and results showed cancer had growen biger, and we were told to go home and prepare to die, with hoispce, sister myself, and by brother, our two children 6 and 10 were able to care from him at home and he passed away at home in bed at 11am on the 11th of may 2010. It was very hard on the kids and i becase i became a caregiver and not a wife as my husband became beridden fast the cancer was all in his spine and you name it it was everywhere.

Anyway we are coping ok i guess but after being with him for 25 years what is one to do now??? i am really LOST.

thank you

[Daughter2010]

First of all let me say I am sorry for your husband's death. The early months in grief are the most difficult, the raw pain, the emotional shock, all of it hurts deeply. I did not loose a husband, but I lost my father last October. Grief is unique to each one of us on this site, our experiences with our loved ones are not identical but we can relate.

Please feel free to come by, drop us a line, we are here for you, if you need to vent.

Take it one day at a time, if that is too much to bear...then take it one step at a time.

Hugs,

-L

[lightacandle]

Thank you very much i will be comeing on regually as i seem to travelling on lifes path well but then i trip up. i miss what is familiar but want to find different again maybe more single people not just male i guess, the kids deserve a mother happy to ? i just dont know.

[Deb625]

Hi there everyone how are you? my nightmare started in october last year when my husband came home from working away for 3 months, he did did not feel well but just thought it was the flu, i urged him to go to the dr, the results were spots on the liver and shadows on the lungs. At the hospital we were told it was an incureable cancer one of the worst we did 12 weeks of chemo and results showed cancer had growen biger, and we were told to go home and prepare to die, with hoispce, sister myself, and by brother, our two children 6 and 10 were able to care from him at home and he passed away at home in bed at 11am on the 11th of may 2010. It was very hard on the kids and i becase i became a caregiver and not a wife as my husband became beridden fast the cancer was all in his spine and you name it it was everywhere.

Anyway we are coping ok i guess but after being with him for 25 years what is one to do now??? i am really LOST.

thank you

All I can say is take deep breaths, and one small step or moment at a time. Keep care of yourself, try to eat. You've just lost a big part of yourself (your hopes and dreams for the future) and from what I'm learning (I lost my partner May 16/10) is you will never get over it, but you will learn day by day, with a small step in front of another small step, to live with it and develop a as new being. When we join this group (that is forced upon us), we understand life has changed from what we once knew... Be gentle with yourself and feel what you need to feel it is all okay. Love, Deb

[Korina]

I am glad you found this forum. No matter where you are in your grief journey, someone here will have words of comfort.

I have found direction in caring for our daughter. The moment she was born, she became the most important part of our lives, and though I will always grieve not only my loss, but her loss in not knowing really knowing her dad (she was 4.5 months old when he died) and Scott's loss in how much he is missing even this very moment, she gives me a beautiful reason to carry on.

Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Scott and I typically depended on ourselves and each other, but when he died, I reached out to those I knew I could trust without hesitation, usually just to talk. They helped me through very difficult days.

Korina