jg2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 I lost my mother one month ago very suddenly and unexpectedly. She had "routine" hernia surgery and was supposed to go home by the end of that week. Then I got a call early one morning that she had a blood clot that went to her heart and she died instantly. She was only 63. My family is all devastated. I talked to her several times a week and she was always the first person I called with any news, or if I was just bored and wanted to talk to someone. I'm 32 and in law school, and I can't believe she's not going to see me graduate or get married or have children. I've been in complete shock for the past month and it's seemed like she was just away somewhere and would be back soon. The reality is now sinking in that she is not coming back and it’s so hard to accept this new reality. My feelings change quickly – from total numbness to disbelief to overwhelming sadness to anger. I have always been the caretaker in the family and the problem solver, and I feel like I’m going crazy because I don’t know what to do. I get these feelings and sometimes I don’t even know what they are and I just don’t know how to deal with them. So far, I’ve been coping mostly by focusing on my father and helping him get through this. But it sneaks up on me at work or in class, and I just don’t know how to deal with it in those moments. I also sometimes feel a panic that I can’t feel my mother around me, and I want to so badly. I know my family will get through this together, and we’ve been a great support to each other. But it’s just so painful right now. And I’m getting so tired of people at work or people who don’t really know me asking me how I’m doing. How do they think I’m doing?! That just brings another wave of emotion over me. I just started seeing a grief counselor through Hospice, which has been a huge help already. But my biggest challenge is taking care of myself instead of worrying about everyone else, and I really don’t know how to do that. I’m sure many people here have experienced what I’m experiencing, so any tips on things to do to get through the really tough moments would be appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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