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17 Years Ago Today

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My daughter was born 17 years ago today. I thought all my firsts were over. But last year ago at this time my husband had only been dead one week. I was in a fog and I don't even remember the day. But this morning I woke up from a dream about Mark and faced the reality that 17 yeras ago today we became parents for the first time. Less than a year into our marriage, full of excitement and eager to be the best parents in the world. We were the idealic couple. Never fought and so in love. It didn't change not for the entire time we were married. We were always the couple that help hands, that hugged that didn't want to be apart.Oh I wish I could share with you all that we had. We were not supposed to be apart. I don't know what I did wrong to have this happen. I can't stand it. I'm having such a sad night.

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Oh, I know how you feel sad.gif. Scott and I were not supposed to be apart. Though we went through some very hard times, we survived them still loving each other intensely. Our commitment to each other, I felt, was special. I will never understand why this happened to us.


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Your post moved me to track down a passage from the Bible (Ecclesiastes 3:1), attributed to King Solomon.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Somehow this helps me make sense of our grief and our healing.

Ron B.

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Cheryl, so sorry you are having a sad night:( A year later for you and Im only in this 40 days...I guess we just have to be patient with ourselves...

its amazing how we all feel like we've done something wrong to have had this happen to us...

I ask myself that question all the time! "What have i done so wrong!!!"

Im not a religious person, but I believe that God wouldnt punish us and the other people in their lives as well...?

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I'm sorry about your new griefday. It's trite to say - but think of all the great times and close love you had.

I envy you that you had such a close relationship. We were close, but the last year with my husband's cancer has been difficult, and our marriage on the whole was not always on an even keel. Yet we weathered the crises and I grieve all the more for the things I didn't get a chance to tell him or show him.

I only hope they can hear us and that we'll see them again. I keep asking for some sort of sign or feeling, just to let me know he's there - yet I get nothing.


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