Advice Needed

[Brody]

Thanks,

Brody

[MartyT]

Hi Brody,

I'm so sorry to learn of the tragic death of your friend's 2-year old daughter, and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you as well as for your other co-workers. How wonderful of you to be so concerned about doing "the right thing" in your efforts to offer condolences to your friend. Because you know your friend better than any of us, we can only offer suggestions based on our own experience, so please bear that in mind.

The gift you describe sounds just lovely to me (although the link you provided does not seem to be working, so I can only go by your description). It does not seem "too personal" to me, given the fact that you've known this person for 20 years. As you say, when the parents light the candle, it will reflect their own sentiments, as well as the thoughtfulness of those who gave it to them.

It may help you to know that much has been written in recent years about how to manage grief in the work place; I've listed links to several such articles and resources on the Grief at Work page of our Grief Healing Web site. Reading a few of them will give you a better idea of what you and your co-workers can do to support this man in his grief. See especially:

What Do I Say to a Grieving Parent?

When A Co-Worker Is Grieving the Death of a Child

When An Employee Is Grieving the Death of a Child

Company Prepares to Welcome Employee Back after Stillbirth (Note that the principles are the same regardless of the age of the child who died)

Danger: Grief at Work

Facing Grief at the Workplace

Grief in the Workplace: An Outline for Helping

Grief Goes to Work, Part One

Grief Goes to Work, Part Two

You may find the resources listed on this page helpful as well: Helping Someone Who's Grieving.

[Brody]

thanks