New Member

[Cris]

Hi! Ive never done anything like this before! I found this site by accident. I wish I would have had this when I first lost my husband. I agree this is a club no one asks to join! Its been a little over 3 years for me. My husband was only 52 and died of a heart attack on his Birthday! Im very lucky to have 2 great kids and great friends and family. BUT, it does not take away the pain and loneliness! All my friends are married and I hate weekends too! In one of the books I read it said you only grieve as much as you loved!!! And I loved that man more than life its self! I could write a book on the stupid things people have said and still do! I will never get over it you just learn to live with it. I still can cry every day. But it does get alittle better with time.

[LarrysGirl]

Hi Cris, I'm glad you found this site and I'm sorry about your loss. Like you, my loss is not recent (almost 5 yrs.) but I've been posting here a long time. It is a hard adjustment and I've not been very good at it. The problem has been I haven't wanted a life after losing Larry, so its hard to know where to begin or for that matter, why bother. I admire those others that have found a way but thats not been the case for me. Please keep posting here, I'm sure it will help you.Deborah

[Cris]

Deborah, This is so crazy! My husbands name was Larry too! The reason I think I found this site was because I feel like I should be better by now!I have tried so hard to not think about all the ways I miss him. But its so hard! Is 5 years any easier? Ive read so many books on being a widow, grief, I think I could teach a class!! I waited 2 years and then sold my house and moved close to my daughter. It has helped some, but, the pain is always there. I thank God every day I had him for 30 years! But it still wasnt enough. I think about him every day in some way. Do you still do that? My bestfriend is great but married.I dont think you can understand unless you experience such a loss! I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. Thankyou for responding. Cris

[LarrysGirl]

Cris, I'm not a good example of how to grieve, thats for sure. I guess I would say that five years doesn't change the missing him, not for a minute. Maybe the pain is duller but its with me always. I always say good morning and good night to him and if I miss a day I feel guilty (not good). I can't help but feel what a cruel twist of fate this has been, finally finding happiness with such a great man, to have it ripped away, its just plain cruel. I know you need to work at putting a life back together and I haven't done it. Its taken everything I have to just survive. One thing I have come to realize recently is that for me "not choosing" to learn to live without him has begun to take its toll on my health. I don't think my body can hold up under the stress like in the beginning. It has made me think that I may have to choose to go on whether I want to or not. That probably doesn't make sense but thats where I'm at now. By the way, my Larry died the day before his 50th birthday. Deborah

[Cris]

Deborah, Im trying to find a way to let go of some of this pain. also. It is a up hill climb. I keep busy as much as I can. I pray everyday and hope to find a purpose besides my children. They are grown but I dont like to upset them. They are the reason I fight to go on. I dont want them to not have me either. They miss their Dad so much. We had such a nice life. I think thats what makes this so hard. It does seem like some people move on alot quicker than me. Thats why I was on line and somehow found this site. I will keep you and everyone here in my prayers also. I wish there was an answer for us! thanks for chatting! Cris

[Korina]

Cris:

Welcome to this forum - it has been a huge comfort to me over this last year. Posting and reading both has been very theraputic . My daughter most definitely has been my reason to go on, and I can actually feel happy because of her. But I still miss Scott and always will.

Korina