Cris Posted September 5, 2010 Report Posted September 5, 2010 Hi! Ive never done anything like this before! I found this site by accident. I wish I would have had this when I first lost my husband. I agree this is a club no one asks to join! Its been a little over 3 years for me. My husband was only 52 and died of a heart attack on his Birthday! Im very lucky to have 2 great kids and great friends and family. BUT, it does not take away the pain and loneliness! All my friends are married and I hate weekends too! In one of the books I read it said you only grieve as much as you loved!!! And I loved that man more than life its self! I could write a book on the stupid things people have said and still do! I will never get over it you just learn to live with it. I still can cry every day. But it does get alittle better with time.
LarrysGirl Posted September 5, 2010 Report Posted September 5, 2010 Hi Cris, I'm glad you found this site and I'm sorry about your loss. Like you, my loss is not recent (almost 5 yrs.) but I've been posting here a long time. It is a hard adjustment and I've not been very good at it. The problem has been I haven't wanted a life after losing Larry, so its hard to know where to begin or for that matter, why bother. I admire those others that have found a way but thats not been the case for me. Please keep posting here, I'm sure it will help you.Deborah
Cris Posted September 5, 2010 Author Report Posted September 5, 2010 Deborah, This is so crazy! My husbands name was Larry too! The reason I think I found this site was because I feel like I should be better by now!I have tried so hard to not think about all the ways I miss him. But its so hard! Is 5 years any easier? Ive read so many books on being a widow, grief, I think I could teach a class!! I waited 2 years and then sold my house and moved close to my daughter. It has helped some, but, the pain is always there. I thank God every day I had him for 30 years! But it still wasnt enough. I think about him every day in some way. Do you still do that? My bestfriend is great but married.I dont think you can understand unless you experience such a loss! I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. Thankyou for responding. Cris
LarrysGirl Posted September 6, 2010 Report Posted September 6, 2010 Cris, I'm not a good example of how to grieve, thats for sure. I guess I would say that five years doesn't change the missing him, not for a minute. Maybe the pain is duller but its with me always. I always say good morning and good night to him and if I miss a day I feel guilty (not good). I can't help but feel what a cruel twist of fate this has been, finally finding happiness with such a great man, to have it ripped away, its just plain cruel. I know you need to work at putting a life back together and I haven't done it. Its taken everything I have to just survive. One thing I have come to realize recently is that for me "not choosing" to learn to live without him has begun to take its toll on my health. I don't think my body can hold up under the stress like in the beginning. It has made me think that I may have to choose to go on whether I want to or not. That probably doesn't make sense but thats where I'm at now. By the way, my Larry died the day before his 50th birthday. Deborah
Cris Posted September 6, 2010 Author Report Posted September 6, 2010 Deborah, Im trying to find a way to let go of some of this pain. also. It is a up hill climb. I keep busy as much as I can. I pray everyday and hope to find a purpose besides my children. They are grown but I dont like to upset them. They are the reason I fight to go on. I dont want them to not have me either. They miss their Dad so much. We had such a nice life. I think thats what makes this so hard. It does seem like some people move on alot quicker than me. Thats why I was on line and somehow found this site. I will keep you and everyone here in my prayers also. I wish there was an answer for us! thanks for chatting! Cris
Korina Posted September 6, 2010 Report Posted September 6, 2010 Cris: Welcome to this forum - it has been a huge comfort to me over this last year. Posting and reading both has been very theraputic . My daughter most definitely has been my reason to go on, and I can actually feel happy because of her. But I still miss Scott and always will. Korina
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now