I Don't Like My Life Anymore

[Aquarius7]

As much as I try to, I simply do not like my life anymore. This is since my Mom passed away. Nothing is the same, I don't live in the house I loved anymore (I was evicted by my siblings who made me leave and want to sell it for no other reason than money), I cannot do the things I used to love doing anymore like I used to and everything and everyone feels different to me. I don't like any of it. I am not a happy person.

Everything is much more difficult and things are more complicated. Without Mom and Dad, my relationship to my siblings feels like a relationship to strangers. They have done nothing but hurt me and have been very spiteful and mean even amidist all this grief and loss.

I just miss my Mom and Dad and the love they gave all of us throughout all of our lives. I see it now more than ever. Life is simply not the same and never, ever will be again.

I feel like running away from all of it. I don't want any of it anymore. Even my possessions mean little to me anymore. I feel like throwing everything out taking my dog and just leaving town for I don't know where. I can't take any of this anymore.

[Lostdaughter]

Aquarius, I can relate, but not exactly for the same reasons. My Dad died but I still have my Mom, but I am estranged from my siblings.

I wish I had some words of wisdom, other than this too shall pass and I believe things will get better for you. At least you have your dog!

I would start making a plan. Can you plan some goals and then write out the steps you need to get there? That is the only thing I can think of to do right now. I know the feeling of just wanting to run away, but the only way out of grief is through. That's what I am told. So I will stay where I am and just get through it all, somehow. Take care.

[heartaches]

I wish I had some words of wisdom to help you, but I do not.

I feel exactly the same. I am worn out, tired of pretending that life is worth it.

It is all pretty meaningless.

I still have my dad, and my brother who is very supportive.

But my mom was everything.

I can only believe that she survived her dear mom's and dad's passing.

She lived on to have many happy times, sharing joy and love, even though I know it broke her heart, whenever she thought of her parents.

30 years later, and she still could not display a picture of her mom, it upset her too much.

Two night before my sweet mom passed, she said she was talking to her dad.

I believe our loved ones come to take us, so you will meet your loved ones again. And soon! As in time goes by so very fast, in an instant.

Life is short, though I know it seems long, especially now.

Sadly, you just have to endure this all, yes things will never be the same, how could they?

Maybe you will never be happy ever again...maybe you will have some moments of peace,...maybe this or that.

This is the hardest thing ever to have to live through, ever. And everyone has to do it.

We have to live on, for them, as they would want us to. we have to honour them. They gave us everything, love and life,...

and we have to live the life they gave us, if not for ourselves, then for them.

[Cheryl]

I understand the pain of loss and the overwhelming feeling that life is meaningless. You are right, your life will never be the same. But remember this is your life, no one elses. We have all learned the hard way that death is more than just losing the one we love. It is losing our identity and having to rebuild EVERYTHING. Try to pick somewhere to start. No matter how small the step. Do something just for you and enjoy it. Each new thing you add to your life will bring you a little joy, peace and confidence. The hardest part is making the commitment and actually following through on the steps. Be gentle with yourself and pat yourself on the back for what you are able to do.