Hiding Out

[abergsma]

I was out and about right after my husband passed (almost 1 month), but now I find myself not wanting to go out or talk to people.

I am worried that I won't be able to pull myself up and get going again.

So much to do....I will have to sell my house due to finances and I find I am overwhelmed. I can't motivate myself.

[Ron B.]

Abergsma,

I have a suggestion, which may not work for you, but it did help me. Do you ever make lists to help keep your affairs organized? When I was feeling my worst, those lists I assembled spelled out exactly what had to get done. I'd put stars by the things that were more urgent, and pass over the other things. Every morning i'd stare at the list and know what had to get done. It was a kind of remindering that was dogged; I just couldn't ditch the things I knew I had to do. And somehow all the important things got done. And the things that really weren't so important just fell off my lists.

I really wanted to pull the blanket over my head, curl up in a ball, and never get out of bed. But there are waking hours every day, when your mind is cognizant and able. It may not be more than a hour a day that you can apply yourself to business. But that hour, if that's all you can muster, is usually enough to get the ball rolling with your affairs. That's 'grief work'. We may not feel like doing a lot of things, but we do them because they have direct bearing on our welfare. So long as you make an effort, you will make progress. And that's hope. Just doing a thing or two every day is enough so we know we are not completely stuck.

I feel a bit sheepish about giving advice here; my own struggle with essential business while going through grief was like trial by fire. I survived it without any major disaster; maybe that is enough.

Ron B.

[abergsma]

Thank you

This does sound like a good idea. I will definitley try.

Allana

[Cajie_Laurie]

Ron, I like that idea and will try it also.