Feeling Incomplete With Dad

[niamh]

This is something that's been on my mind the last few days....I don't feel complete anymore,I  just don't feel like a whole person. I also find that when I think of people I know personally who've lost a parent or am around them I look at them as not being complete either,almost like there is something wrong with them.....

I met an acquaintance yesterday who I haven't seen since Christmas and he's become an overnight friend.had some problems I had asked an uncle (Dads brother) to help me with and it was a waste of time,he snapped a little at me and I just felt like I was bothering him (he's never been a family man)but I thought he'd help me out.I was panicked when I left his office,the tears just poured and poured wanting and needing my Dad,this was something he always helped me with and always calmed me when I'd stress out.

Was on the way to meet a friend for coffee with 2 huge red eyes and this "new" friend was with her.he offered to help and I do think my Dad sent him my way,it had been months since I'd also seen mine friend so the timing was "coincidental"....or NOT.I calmed down and he's gonna help me with this stuff! 

Dad was the first thing that came to mind when I started relaxing so I quietly thanked him!!

Anyways back to my point .....this guy lost his Mom about 3 yrs ago so he knows the horror,we've not really talked about it properly but I just feel I look at him as being incomplete because his mom is not here.whatever about me feeling this,I guess I feel bad for thinking someone else I know isn't a whole person or something because of this. Then I started thinking of the couple of others I know (in person)and realized I think the same of them. I feel this ENORMOUS pity but then I realize I'm part of this club.

I know it's normal for me to feel like this about me because part of me is missing,part of me is with my Daddy wherever he is but as I said I feel bad for thinking of someone else like this,it's not like it's their fault because they've lost a parent from this world and I know of course there is nothing wrong with them.

And all this is only for those I know in person,no part of me thinks like that about each of you.....so it's very odd!!

Anyways just some "odd" thoughts for today.

Hugs and love to all as usual.

 

[2sweetgirls]

I don't think that feeling that way about others that have lost a parent or someone really close to them is a bad thing. I actually do feel that way myself. I tell my husband all the time that "I'm broken" - not just my heart but me myself. I hope that somehow, someday, with some tape and glue, I can be, at least, partially fixed again.

I'm glad that your new friend could help you through a tough time. You daddy did send him to help you. I really believe that.

Love and hugs to you, Niamh.

2sweetgirls

[hello123]

I know what you mean, just yesterday I was talking about something and my Mum asked me a question and it really upset me because she doesn't know anything about me it was always me and my Dad, def feel incomplete and like I dont have anyone to talk to and turn to anymore xxx

[niamh]

thanks 2 sweetgirls, yep broken is so so true & it's hard to do things when this huge part is missing from us and we just cannot get it back. sometimes I feel a little stonger on the outside than before but all it takes is a feather to just knock me over again so I think it will forever be a bit of tape but it will always be easily "breakable".

Yeah, I am so thankful for him & part of me hopes that he will be someone I can go to in future for those things that men usually "look after" or just know more about.

hello123, yep I hear you on missing your Dad to talk to. My Mom tries so hard to understand but it's not the same and she knows that too herself especially when it comes to my work and things going on there. A lot of the time now I only talk about the major things that go on there, the little things I don't bother mentioning anymore............sometimes it's like they are all piling up inside me, so many things in this world I want to mention to my Dad, chat to him about and ONLY him, nobody else. I've become a fairly quiet person since all this.

I just hate the huge void that's left that nobody can fill and it's hard feeling so incomplete all of the time.

hugs and love to you both

xo