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Come Back Mom And Dad!

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I just cannot stop thinking about my Mom and Dad. Lately, all I have been doing is thinking about the times we had together. All of them; the not so good, and the very good. And the great ones too!

Back then, it just seemed like they would be there forever. I just could never imagine them not being there and just how horrible and hard it would be.

So now, not only am I grieving my wonderful Mom but also my wonderful Dad and them together as wonderful parents. I cry about it all the time and it never gets better. I think of all the times they asked me to go somewhere with them (eat out, movie, trip, etc.) and all the times I said no and that I was too busy. How stupid of me! I did say yes quite a few times, but it was never enough.

I realize now that they were my best friends in my entire life, who knew me better than anyone. And now they are both gone. I am crying now as I write this. People say, "oh well, think of all the years you had with them. Some people never had that." Yeah, I know. But I did and I treasure every moment I had with them.

Why doesn't anyone ever teach us how to deal with this when it happens? Another thing is that I cannot find anywhere locally for group therapy for adult children who have lost their parents.

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I cry as I read this because it is exactly how I feel. I feel like where did these wonderful people go? Why are they gone? Most of all, how am I supposed to be able to deal with all of this?

Recently, I received a small memory stone with the words that my dad had put on a bigger stone for my mom to be put on a memory walkway at the hospice where she (and 10 months later he also) died. I cried so much my husband had to hold me up. I wonder all the time how I can make this whole experience easier for my girls when it's their time to grieve for me and their daddy. I haven't come up with it yet.

It is all too much sometimes.

Sending hugs to you.


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