Stanford Study On Grief

[melina]

I thought this study might be of interest. It basically states the obvious, I think, but it's still interesting. Those who have had fewer stress factors in their lives prior to or during their loss, tend to recover from grief more quickly. Here is the link:

http://news.stanford.edu/pr/94/940829Arc4145.html

I've noticed that several of us on this site have had other things to deal with, in addition to their grief, that have made life difficult - even traumatic.

For me - we had financial difficulties tearing at us for several years until these money problems finally forced us to sell our house (our childrens' childhood home) and move to a rental house just a couple of months after my husband got his cancer diagnosis. Our dog died shortly later, a day before Christmas(I know that might sound trivial to some, but it was tough - also because it was a reminder of death). Then we bought another house and moved just two months before my husband died. I was left with an old house we had planned to fix up together (lots of stuff to do), unfamiliar neighbors, and quite a few of those nasty financial problems to figure out, all on top of my deep grief over the loss of my beloved husband and my childrens' loving father.

Basically this study confirms what I've been thinking all along. The more baggage you end up carrying, the harder it is to walk.

Melina

[sunstreet]

Dear Melina,

Thank you for sharing this link. I could not agree with you more! Thank you for sharing more of your Load with us Melina. I am so sorry for all that you have had to deal with. I hope you can really look at it all, take a step back and give yourself a standing ovation! I know I am.

What I have found for myself is that the joy that I feel now in life is so very precious and I honour and respect myself for having the courage to do the neccessary work to get to here and feel this joy. This is my prayer and hope for you too Melina.

I also just want to say that the death of any of our beloved pets is in no way trivial.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[mfh]

There are so many variables. One we tend to overlook is the exhaustion of care giving. I took care of my husband for four years so when he died...I was totally exhausted physically and mentally. Others have financial issues...job loss...kids to deal with...a troubled relationship left unresolved....this is a multifaceted journey and unique to each of us. I do agree with the study when it says to talk to those who are on the same path. Nothing is simple for sure.

[kayc]

Dear Melina,

Thank you for sharing this link. I could not agree with you more! Thank you for sharing more of your Load with us Melina. I am so sorry for all that you have had to deal with. I hope you can really look at it all, take a step back and give yourself a standing ovation! I know I am.

What I have found for myself is that the joy that I feel now in life is so very precious and I honour and respect myself for having the courage to do the neccessary work to get to here and feel this joy. This is my prayer and hope for you too Melina.

I also just want to say that the death of any of our beloved pets is in no way trivial.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Amen to all of that!

[Deb625]

Hi Melina, thanks for the link. I know I am one of many here that not only have lost a spouse, but have to deal with so many additional "trauma's" added on, I recognize it has impeded my ability to grieve and I trust that by recognizing it within myself, that I will continue to move forward "in spite of". Some days are harder than others, but I keep placing one foot in front of the other and always hope that tomorrow will just be a better day... Take care, Deb