Lost Both Parents Within Four Months Recently...

[wiseserenity]

Hi,

Last year was very difficult for me. I lost both of my parents within a four month period of each other. I also lost my job of 23 years and my relationship of 6 years had recently broken up. My Mom's death was a surprise and my Dad had been sick for awhile, but to loose both of them so close together, was unbelievable. I have a brother who didn't even show up to help, so everything fell upon my shoulders. I did have family that supported me emotionally and everything worked out on the "taking care of financial things" side. I feel so much guilt because I was not close with my parents. They were divorced, my Mom was a paranoid schizophrenic and my Dad was such a controlling person. I feel such emptiness and like I don't want to let anyone close to me. I try so hard to move on and whenever I get paperwork or anything that reminds me of them, I cry. It is strange but it is like a piece of me has broken off and I am different. I haven't really ever let people close before in the first place and now I just feel like "who cares" sort of attitude. I have to force myself sometimes to go to my new job or even go out with friends which I don't do very often. I make up excuses or just plain don't show up. I pretend I am happy when at work and make lots of jokes because that is how I deal, I guess. I do the same thing when I do make it out to be with friends too. I just don't know what to do and will I come to place where I change and become a better person or something?

Thanks for any advice,

Sheri

[STARKISS]

Hi Wiseserenity, First of all I want to say how sorry to hear about your losses... I lose my parents four months apart of each other five years ago and so I realize how hard it must be for you right now... I want to encourage you to continue to visit this website and to read the posts here... There are alot of special and understanding people hear who really understand... I will keep you in my prayers... Shelley

[BellaRosa]

Wiseserenity, I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I lost my mom 3 months ago and I also feel like a part of me is gone forever. I feel like a completely different person and like I will never truly be myself again. I try to pretend like I'm OK when I'm at work, but it takes so much energy and most of the time I can't even be bothered to fake it. I wish I had some advice for you, but I'm still very new to this journey, so all I can tell you is that I can relate to some of what you said. Keep posting and letting it out here. There is always someone who will relate to you and understand where you're coming from.

[2sweetgirls]

Hello Wiseserenity,

I am so sorry for the rough year and the loss of your parents, job and relationship. I wish I had some advice to give you but, I find myself in a similar situation with the loss of my parents 10 months apart. Mom died 11-09 and dad 10-10. Talk of their death was never a tabu subject in our house growing up - we all actually joked about it. Looking back I think it was their way of preparing us. Little did I know how utterly difficult it would be. Sometimes I feel ok and other times the wave crashes over me and leads me to sea.

I'm sorry that you were not close to them as you might have wanted to be. Also, I'm sorry for the lack of help from your brother. I'm glad you had help with the financials because that in itself can be soooooo overwhelming. I am glad (for lack of better words) that the estate stuff is done. It was extremely difficult to focus on, in addition to, my children, husband, everyday life, not to mention, grief.

I wish I had better words to say to you. Just know that this site is filled with compassionate people who have had or still have similar experiences. I would be in a hole somewhere without it.

Peace to you.

2sweetgirls