STARKISS Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Hi All, Have you ever got to the point that you needed to talk to someone but could not find anyone to talk too... I am in that way tonight, I have no one to talk to tonight... Sometime I just do not know why I am so unhappy but tonight it is that I am really missing my mom and it is getting so close to the day she died.. I am remembering the trip to Las Vegas and all the times we had together and it is really making me sad right now... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Dear Shelley, I find it all the time as I have an aversion to talking on the phone and very few of my closest friends live nearby. Instead I talk to my son instead, even though deep down I know he can't hear. I even took a toy rabbit from his room in to mine to talk to! Nicholas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 FORGET IT I DO NOT NEED TO TALK ANYMORE.... I NEEDED TO TALK YESTERDAY AND EVERYONE GAVE ME THE BOOT SO THAT IS WHY I KEEP THINGS IN ALL THE TIME... I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO EXCEPT FOR MY NOTHERAPIST AND EVEN WITH HER SHE IS GETTING TIRED OF HEARING IT FROM ME... NO WORDS IN ME ANYMORE I AM ALL GRIEVED OUT.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Ah well, at least I tried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 Hi Nicholas, I actually talk to my favorite stuffed dog named hope and it does the trick sometimes but other times I just need a human to talk too... I also talk to the family dog too.. Thanks Nicholas I really appreciate your post.. Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 Shelley I get to that point a lot. Talking to the dog does not work. Calling most friends does not do it very well either because the person I need and want to talk to is not here. The loneliness is endless and I know your pain well. I do know that talking to my grief counselor helps some. The spousal loss support group I was in helped. But bottom line....nothing is the same as talking to my love. I do hope you will call someone even if the response comes up short. Beats stuffing the pain down. mfh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 Hi mfh, Thanks for the reply, I know I wish I could talk with my mom but she is gone and I am left to fend for myself.. I do not any friends and the family just does not want to talk about things... I just need to vent with someone face to face but have no one..Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 How about a grief counselor? That is what I did as friends sometimes just do not know what to say. Also if you belong to a church...there may be a support group there or nearby. I am sorry you are so alone. mfh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 Dear Shelley, I was always a very private person, it was just my son and me here, now he has gone, I, too, never realized how lonely life can be. The thing is, I don't like visitors, especially now that I have my son's ashes here in two caskets, one in his bedroom, one in the sitting room. The thought of anyone visiting distresses me greatly. I am also not good on the phone, and really only talk in depth to my sister who doesn't mind my crying down the phone. I prefer to go out and meet friends on a one to one basis, but my best friends don't live so close. Also, even going out somewhere if only for a coffee in London is so expensive, and travelling anywhere also very expensive (I don't drive). I have thought about getting a pet but I live on the top floor of a three storey block so it isn't very suitable; I used to have a couple of guinea-pigs but my son didn't really like them and it wasn't fair keeping them indoors. Take care Nicholas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 Shelley, so sorry I missed this post. I know I find sometimes nobody is the right person to talk to coz it's just my Dad I want. Do you ever write to your Mom ? I write to my Dad, although I haven't been able to lately but sometimes I just have things I want to say to him.........I find writing does a little more than just even talking to him myself. And you know what, my journal to my Dad NEVER TIRES of hearing what I have to say no matter how often, because it is often the same thing but I can write it over and over and over and I like to think my Dad sees it all and never ever gets sick of what I write ! Of course its different if you want to talk to a person face to face or on the phone. so sorry it's so tough Shelley, I wish I had answers ! ((hugs)) Niamh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2011 Hi All, Well here I sit all alone again tonight and just thinking of everything I have been through lately and wondering if I am ever going to get through this grief journey... I find that the more the time goes by I am having the worst of times.. Such as I miss my mom at everything holiday and birthday.. I fear I am going to forget her voice and what she looks like... It is going to be 7 years this monday and I can hardly believe she has been gone that long.. Shelley Thanks to everyone who posted here... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted April 14, 2011 Report Share Posted April 14, 2011 Shelley, dear ~ I know this is a difficult time for you, but I want to remind you that in reality, this anniversary day will be no more or less difficult than any other day ~ it's all in how you choose to look at the day. You can make it a powerful and meaningful day of remembrance, a day for celebrating the precious memory of your mother, or without any planning on your part, you can just wait for it to come and let it turn into a day of darkness and sorrow and longing. Why not use this time to plan how you can remember your mother, in a very special and meaningful way? After all, this truly is just another day on the calendar, not much different from any other day. No matter how you spend it, you're still faced with learning how to live in this world without the physical presence of the person you love so much. You say you have no one to talk to, but I am here to tell you that, as an example, there are many people sitting in nursing homes who don't have anyone to talk to (or to listen to their stories), and I'm sure they would love to have a visit from someone like you. Do you belong to a church community? Do they have any service ministries that need volunteers, such as visiting the sick or homebound? Many people, when grieving a loss, find solace in helping others. It can take you out of yourself and put things in perspective to help others in need. Is there any way you could find a way to volunteer in your community or at your place of worship, or offer to help a friend or neighbor who is going through a hard time? There is an old saying that the best way to find a friend is to be a friend. Wouldn't that be a wonderful way to honor your mother's memory ~ to offer your friendship to someone else who also feels all alone in this world? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2011 Hi All, I still feel like I need to talk to someone but I have figured out that on my mom's death anniversary I am going to go to the nearby park and release a balloon and listen to my mom's favorite song and say a nice prayer... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 Hi All, Well yet another holiday and boy I am getting so tired of feeling blue all the time.. I have family but none of them really care about me and what I am going through.. They told my therapist they cared but they were just putting on a show for her in the real world they care only for themselves.. I just feel so blue right now and wish that my mom could be here with me, but of course that will not happen.. I just needed to vent again and tell someone what I am feeling.. I just wish I had someone closer to me so that when this happens I can get a real hug and personal contact.. Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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