Feeling Let Down With Easter Message

[mfh]

I used to love Easter with all its meaning and newness...it was probably the biggest day of our year...bigger than Christmas...we so enjoyed rides in the country, Easter music, and more....I hope to enjoy it again someday. But last year I buried my husband the day before Easter and last Easter is a blur. Today feels like my first Easter without him. I sat at his grave yesterday...alone for the first time- as it is an isolated country cemetery -and I decided that isolated or not...I need to be there alone instead of with someone at my side or waiting for me in their car. I sat on a bench and bawled. Jonquils grew there that I must have planted last year though I do not remember doing so. Today I got an email "Easter joy message" from someone who I thought all year understood pretty well what loss and grieving are all about. This message was a sermon on faith and belief and turning tears into dancing on being grateful for what we had and all those words that are meaningless to me at this time. I am grateful, of course, for what we had. I can't see joy. I felt betrayed and angry as the day is hard enough without having someone I trusted to a large degree turn around and preach at me that "he is better off" crap. I guess people try...and their intentions are decent but until one has walked this path....they will not understand or grasp the pain. I just want the day to end.

Thanks for listening. mfh

[Guest Nicholas]

I understand your feelings entirely as this is my first Easter without my son, though as Buddhists we did not celebrate it as a religious holiday. When I used to ask him why it was called "Good Friday", he would reply "because it is a holiday" unaware of its religious significance; mind you, most days were a holiday to him.

So there is nothing to celebrate and the day is made worse by London basking in glorious sunshine (well, glorious for some), and everyone talking about - and looking forward to - the Royal Wedding. I better not comment on that since, as a Thai, my son was an ardent monarchist and would have enjoyed the day thoroughly.

And so the struggle goes on.

Nicholas

[Anne E]

mfh,

So very sorry for your loss. There is nothing like a "holiday" shared with love and joy with our loved ones to increase the sadness and misery. Just making it through the day is a good thing.

I am so sorry you were preached to by someone you thought understood. Those platitude he's better off, he's in a better place, he's at peace now, he's in heaven having a great time, etc., etc., in my opinion are just mean and serve no real purpose. It always just increases my pain.

Know that we try to understand. No one can truly understand another's pain, but I know my pain and it sucks.

I feel privileged to listen and that you trust us to hold you gently.

God Bless,

Anne