If Another Person Tells Me "you Need To Find A Way To Get Over Thi

[Babypod]

AHHH! Grandma will have been gone one month tomorrow - I can't believe we are already at a month. My heart is still broken and my brain still keeps thinking about her. She was my Grandma - my mom - my best friend - everything I ever did in my life I did because of her influence - even the career I chose.

Well - I still have days where it physically hurts so bad to not have her here that I just cry. If my kids weren't here I would probably yell and scream like a two year old - but I can't do that in front of them. It hurts so bad to have her not here. Well - so many people are just say, "You have to find a way to get over this." "You can't be this sad" - WHY THE HELL NOT! This amazing, beautiful, loving and giving person is gone - GONE. The rock of our lives. Our beacon of love. The person who we all knew we could go to with anything and she would give us nothing but love - IS GONE! I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I can barely hold it together enough to make meals for my kids - I can't stand that these people just keep saying, "You have to move on." It hasn't even been a month. Plus - I honestly believe there are some people in our lives that you never "move on" from. You always grieve for their loss and try to keep them alive in your hearts.

Sorry for venting. I just can't believe the way some of them are acting. How can the bounce back so quickly. .

[BellaRosa]

Babypod, when I first came to this site someone told me that we never "move on" or "get over" a loss. We simply learn to live with it. It's almost 6 months that my mom has been gone, and I'm starting to understand what that means. I will never, ever get over the loss of my mother. I will never be the same person I was before. However, the pain isn't as extreme (at least not constantly) and I can function slightly better than I could in the beginning.

I have a feeling that these people telling you to move on have never experienced a really close loss. Ignore them and take care of yourself. The loss of your grandma is still so very new and fresh -- you're probably still in shock from it all. Cry as much as you need to and keep coming here because we all understand what you're going through.

I've found that there are certain people I just can't be truly honest with. They may ask how I'm doing, but they don't want to really hear the answer. I tell them I'm hanging in there and then move on in the conversation. There's no point in talking to them only to be told that I need to "get over" it or that they're surprised I'm "still" grieving.

Erin

[mfh]

BabyPod,

You feel as bad as you want....cry as much as you want and can. Loss is huge. It is 13 months since I lost the love of my life and I cry and feel sad every single day. We do not get over these things. We go through them....we learn to live with the empty feeling and the sadness. I more and more believe that until one has lost someone really close- not just anyone- they can not understand the pain of losing someone close. We are all here for you. mfh

[Babypod]

Thank you all so much. Grandma is the first person I was REALLY close to that died. She probably has been the person in my life I have been closest to. I must admit I was closer to her than I am to my husband even - I love my husband but I admit that Grandma has always been the person I knew I could depend on to understand everything. I am angry at everyone who ever hurt her or made her cry - even my Aunts and Uncles for the things they did for her. Listening to my mom and other people say that I shouldn't still let myself get this upset about it still just hurts more.

[Cat_Lady]

I am so very sorry for the loss of Grandma. I started coming here after the death of my Mom in January. I hear what you are saying and it is unfair of others to tell you how to cope. The advice I have been getting and would offer back to you is to greive as much and however you need. I do believe that there are some losses we never get over, nor should we. These people who were so close to us and so influenced our daily lives deserve to be kept in our hearts. People say we will learn to live this these losses yet never be the same, and I am now starting to see this myself.

Keep coming here because we are all in this struggle together and it is true that only those who have lost someone so very dear can understand what you are going through. We are here for you.

Hugs and prayers.