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Getting Worse...im Not Myself

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Hello everyone.

I dont know if its due to losing my mother or if Im just a loser, but I dont know whats going on with me. I dont feel like my life has any meaning right now. I know my mother was eighty three and perhaps I shouldnt be acting the way I do..but it seems to be getting more difficult. Its not as if I cry uncontrollably every day, but I feel angry and moody most of the time. Not to mention that Ive been in a so called relationship for the past couple of months and the relationship consists of me being verbally abused by this so called friend. I find myself being very emotional, quick to get angry, Im wondering if its part of grief or if Im being too sensitive. My so called friend keeps calling me a two year old ..a baby...etc. I know my mother wouldnt even want me to deal with this person...but thats another post altogether. Even at work I find myself being moody etc. I know one thing, I cannot stand to be in my parents home for more than a few hours. I was there all day yesterday for eight hours and it felt like torture. Its too quiet and too sad without my mom. She has been gone since December 26th.

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I feel exactly the same. It's been just over 8 months since I lost my mom, and although I'm not crying all the time anymore, I'm just generally BLAH all the time. My temper is almost non-existent, I don't care about much of anything, and I find that the few things that do actually excite me, I obsess over. I'm almost always in a bad mood, and although I try to hide it, some days I just can't.

At first, I liked being at my parents' house because I felt close to my mom there. Now it makes me anxious most of the time. It feels so empty and like a huge reminder that she's gone.


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