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Dealing With The Loss Of Both Parents

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I am struggling to come to terms with the loss of my parents 18days apart.

My mum came to help me in Scotland after the birth of my 3rd child and after 2 months of me giving birth she fell ill unexpectedly and needed emergency cardiac surgery. She died in ICU a few hours later on the 07/08/11

It was very very painfull and I was struggling with her death and the grieving process. We had mum cremated and I carried her ashes back to South africa to my family. It was traumatic and I think I just blocked it out on the trip.

I had just arrived back from South Africa with my 3 young kids and husband.

Then, my dad died suddenly of a massive heart attack on the 25/08/11 He was heart broken.

Family are wanting to raise funds for me to go back home but the trauma is to much for me I dont think I can bear to see my dad buried

Friends and family do not know what to say to me. Both my parents were 70yrs old and their loss is enormous for me. They were goin to be married for 49yrs next week Thursday. I called dad everyday even on the day he died he told me he was fine. The shock of his sudden death is too much for me and antidepressants appear to numb me

Hope I can attend a grieving couselling session asap

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So Sorry for your losses, I can not even imagine what it is like for you, i lost my parents four months apart and was devasted from that so I can not even think how hard it has been for you... I lived with both my parents until they died, my mom died in Las Vegas while we were on vacation and my dad died in his sleep after being admitted to hospital... After that I lefted my parents house after it was sold and moved in with my sister and her husband and family... I left my job all my neighbors and friends behind... I was sexually abused by my dad and was also physically and emotionally, and verbally abused by my dad too... I moved in with my sister and her husband who also verbally and emotionally abuse me too... Again I am sorry for your losses ... I will keep you in my prayers... Shelley

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Guest Nicholas

I can fully sympathize with your losses; my Mother died from lung cancer (she was a very heavy smoker) in Nov '79 aged just 50 when I was 19. I was devastated and ran away, back to University. My Father never recovered and, though, he re-married (probably for the company), he died in Sept '83. They said it was also lung cancer, but he didn't smoke, was very fit and I am sure it was from a broken heart as he was only 59 and inseparable from my Mother.

I recovered from both those losses, my Mother's was much worse for me than my Father's as I didn't really get on well with him, though we were reconciled at the end. It took time, but I did recover.

Having said that, it is 8 months to the day since I lost my son, which is the reason I joined this helpful place, and still the tears flow and I miss him more each day. I am due to start counselling soon, but don't have a date yet.

Whether I recover from this loss, far more painful than the parental one, is anyone's guess.

Take care,


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  • 1 year later...

I to lost both my Mom and Dad 6 moths apart and it is very hard to deal with.I took care of my Dad after my Mom passed so I didn't have time to grief for her but then my dad passed and I fall apart.still tyring to put myself back together but I must say it is very hard.I feel as if my heart with forever be broken.I miss them both so very much it hurts.

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